A
male
age
30-35,
*alph18
writes:I’m a young guy, I’m gay and I’ve a boyfriend. We have pretty big age difference - while I’m 18, he’ s 30, but this has never been a problem for us. He’ s a wonderful person and I’m so in love with him. I have kind of a sexual problem. My boyfriend and I know each other more than a year, we met when I was still 17 and he only touched me as much as shaking my hand or fondling my hair. Now I would like to have sex with him, but somehow I’m very afraid. I don’t really know of what, because I feel in heaven when I’m with him. I love him and I want to make love with him , but I cannot bring myself to do it. I don’t know why. I’m a virgin and he’s the first person I have relationship with. The only thing that we’ve done, is kissing. Once we got pretty far with caresses, but when he tried to slip his hands under my clothes, I pulled away. I didn’t think, it was like automatic. He always tells me not to worry about it, we’ ve plenty of time and he’ s willing to wait as long as I need. But I’m not blind! I can see he wants it. And I don’t want to be an a.s and make him to wait forever.The other thing is that I’m very shy. I don’t know what to do and how to do. That also makes me feel very down. I mean, maybe he’ll be disappointed by me being so inexperienced. Also I can hardly imagine myself being naked in front of him. What if he doesn’t like my body, the way I look or smell or whatever? I know first time is always kind of confusing, but I guess I’ve too much stress. Most of all I’m just so f*cking scared he’s going to leave me. Although he’s the sweetest, cutest and most lovable man, I’m afraid to lose him because of this hesitancy of mine. What should I do?
View related questions:
kissing, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aemita  +, writes (9 September 2012):
 Ok, it doesn't matter that you are gay or that you are a virgin.
Your boyfriend obviously loves you for who you are, otherwise he wouldn't have waited so long.
When true feelings arise, you shouldn't be afraid to share your body with your loved one.
You seem to be pretty close to each other. Now in order to get more comfortable with the idea of sex, why not try and discuss it with him? I know some may say, talking about it, might kill the mood, but then again, it's not like you have to talk about every little detail. Just general stuff.
You love him so very much, and he seems to feel the same for you.Then you shouldn't be afraid to talk about intimacy with him. Communication is the key (i cannot stress this enough). Talk to him about your fear, tell him how much you care for him, but how scared you are he'll leave you.
I know it's a big step and it takes a lot, to let him in your world. But you CAN afford being vulnerable in front of him, if you TRUST him!
Being shy is not the end of the world :) - i was a very shy person myself(in all departments, sex included) - but you can trust him, you can talk to him. It's just the two of you, you shouldn't be too afraid to let him in your world.
So then sweetie, don't put too much pressure on yourself, go with the flow, enjoy his company. You don't need to go all the way, just take baby steps, until you'll be finally ready.
Like the first poster, if you want to talk some more, please don't hesitate to drop me a private message. I'm here to help!
-Stay safe dear ^_~
A
male
reader, EDOCO +, writes (9 September 2012):
 It's normal to be hesitant to think of sex if your a virgin. But please don't get yourself worked up. Sex isn't that much of a deal, yes, it does hurt the first couple times, but the more you do it, the less it hurts. But it's not if your brave enough to have sex, it's if your MATURE and READY to have sex. Are you ready for the possability of having a child? Remember, caring for a child is expensive. You have to pay for child support, its food, its medical care, and all the other parental tools. If you cannot bare the possability of having a child, than you are not ready for sex.
...............................
A
female
reader, lmao1989  +, writes (9 September 2012):
 You obviously are going to be worried hun it's your first time and you'll be nervous but try not to panic. He seems like he knows what you're going through and is willing to help you.
Just talk to him about your fears and why not try building up to it. Try oral things first and see where you go from there.
You're obviously uncomfortable with your body i've been there but if he loves you as much as you clearly love him he'll love your body whether you're slim and slender or you're curvy.
I think once you do it with him whether it's orally or your first time you'll gain more confidence.
Don't push yourself too much but try and start small and work into it i was the same as you with my boyfriend a virgin and terrified but he never pressured me and now i feel silly for worrying.
If you want to talk anymore please message me if you want to talk more privately.
I hope this helps. Love yourself and he'll love you even more!
...............................
|
