A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met her in my 20's, she worked with me, and is almost 14 years older than me. She had a reputation as the office slut (she worked as a prostitute before), and almost half of my colleagues slept with her after exchanging money to her.(She even confessed that to me, saying prostitution is just another job?!) So I kept my distance and I was her office friend, nothing more.Problems began when she learnt of my relationship. She surprisingly showed jealously (I don't know why).She even went to the extent of manipulating my breakup with my girlfriend. I left my old company. This was 3 years back.I still kept in touch with this woman as a friend. I learnt later that she was sleeping with my office colleague (she was in love with him), however it ended between them. She tried to come closer to me, I pushed her away politely. She got angry with me, hooked up back with him, and tried to use him against me. I learnt all about her from his own mouth. Now she's pregnant with him,(she wanted to have a child, coz she is in her 40's), and he's dumped her again. Now she's come back to me, said to me that she loves me (after knowing her for almost 7 years), and she wants to settle down (marriage) with me. I told her everything - I know everything about her promiscous ways, her manipulation, intrigue, the bitterness she put in my life by manipulating my breakup, etc. And that I reject her. I cannot get those 7 years of my life which I consistently suffered and lost my happiness due to her intrigue.Yet she's not letting me go! Now my friends are calling me judgmental, arrogant and cruel for "rejecting" her. They blame me for having a "holier than thou" attitude. I wonder - how do I believe a lying hypocritical base woman? I have my personal values and standards and she doesn't fit those! And I am being coaxed into becoming a "baby daddy" for a friend's child! So what am I supposed to do? Compromise on my principles?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 August 2012):
 You're "supposed to" walk away from this childish charade... and STAY AWAY from this woman... AND take anything that you hear from your "friends" with an enormous grain of salt.... AND, then, get on with your life...
Good luck....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2012): You slept with her. As far as some people are concerned, that makes you obligated to accept fatherhood of any child she conceives, with any man, from then on.
Those people are wrong. You are a free man. You are entitled to have a sex life without being forced to become a father to someone else's child against your will. She chose to purposely get pregnant with another man's child and it is not your problem she made a bad choice.
You don't need this mess. My advice is stop thinking with your dick and find yourself another woman.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI haven't had sex with her ever, and after I quit my job the only communication was through phone and internet.
And I learnt about her intrigue as latest as last year (from her ex). I haven't kept in touch with her for almost 10 months, but all of a sudden she pops out of nowhere, apologising and owning up for her mistakes. I just wanted to clarify on these points. There was never any intimacy between us ever.
Yep, I do agree with you all on my decision to block her.
Thanks for your support.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 August 2012):
What I wonder is why you even bother keeping her around as a "friend". I don't see what YOU get out of this friendship? She broke up a relationship of yours and you STILL talk to her?
No, you have no obligations to be anyone's babydaddy.
But you need to quit playing the victim. There is absolutely no good reason why you can't cut her out of your life. You just choose not to, and THAT is something YOU need to look at and figure out why.
It doesn't matter how many people she's slept with or how much money she's made of having sex with people, THAT is on her.... If she is so "repulsive" in her morals and values.. WHY have you been her "friend" for 7 years?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 August 2012):
 You do have a "holier than thou" attitude, but there is no reason why you should take the child as yours.
I feel it would be different if she had the baby, you two had a relationship, and then you wanted to go further. Then you would surely have a responsibility towards the baby. That is not the case here.
I am under the impression that you do like sex with her and she knows it. That was why you kept in touch with her for seven years even after her manipulation and intrigue.
Just say no and find someone else.
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A
female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (5 August 2012):
 oh heck no! Do not even talk to her, and stop talking to everyone who says you are wrong, because they are not good friends.
What ever they say, you tell them "well why don't you marry her?"
Why in heveans name are you still talking to this woman?
It is not your fault you have ideals. No man ever dreamt of marrying a hoe, plan and simple.
I don't even see how this is your problem.
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