A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Coming up 2 years ago I fell head over heels for this guy I knew through a mutual friend. We became best friends so quickly and we had an amazing bond. He began purposely leading me on and generally finding fun in messing with my head. But I was so happy just knowing him I didn't care. Then, one night he rang me during the middle of the night and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. He didn't speak to me again after that for 3 weeks and when we spoke again I ended up having sex with him again. After that, once again, we stopped contacting each other. I also found out that around this time he was trying to win over this girl who'd been at my college. Obviously that devastated me, like I was some consolation prize. I deleted him out of my life and shorty after I met my current boyfriend. We've been together for just over a year and a half, and he's even moved countries for me. He's almost perfect and he does everything I ask. Yeah, we have tiffs but I love him.Me and this other guy ended up getting back in contact, nothing serious just like asking how the other was. Anwyway on his facebook this morning he hinted that he'd had another one night stand and I don't know why but it's really upset me. I don't know what I'm doing here.
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best friend, facebook, jealous, one night stand Reply to this Question
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male
reader, gundam007 +, writes (5 February 2012):
Right on, CindyCares. In the past, but still hurts. Next time you see his FB change to something hurtful, just shout "FUCK YOU" at your computer screen. It will feel good at first, and then eventually you'll realize how silly it is to be worked up over him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): You are falling into a mental trap, thinking that the "user" treated you like trash and that you have something to prove to him "that I'm not trash".You prove it by not talking to him, not contacting him, ignoring his contacts, and dedicating you to the guy who treats you like you are special.Not by letting the "user" back into your life in any way.Any contact allowed by you, or responded to by you, is a further demonstration of your own low self worth or low self esteem...notice, I didn't say your "value".The guy is a user.Prove one thing to him...by not responding to him at all in any way shape or form...that you finally realize you are not just a hole to stick a penis in...but someone with high intrinsic value and that you finally realize it.Doesn't matter what your bf thinks about you, it is what YOU think about YOURSELF.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (25 January 2012):
 Guy A is an a**hole and I should whip a jump rope at his dome. Guy B sounds like the set. Therefore, tell Guy A to go f*** himself and drown in an alligator pool of chlamydia all while blocking him and breaking off all contact.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 January 2012):
 I guess you are mad at yourself more then him. He took advantage of him 3 times and you... let him.
Let him go, block him, un-friend him, you have moved on and found a good guy. That poor schmuck from your past is still only capable of one night stands, it's not really something to be mad about, have a little pity lol After all, the guy seems unable to connect with a girl for anything but sex.
Why even bother keeping in contact? He wasn't a positive influence on you and your life 2 years ago, he won't be (most likely) now. All he is, is regret. You can say it over and over, but it's not going to change the past. You made a mistake, HE was your mistake, forgive yourself and let it go.
Obviously, it's not about you. It's about him and his shortcomings.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 January 2012):
 It's understanable that that contact upset you... since it reminded you that you'd been USED by this creep.....
IF you'd like to expunge those memories, don't contact the dog.... don't encourage him in any way.... in fact, you would be justified in sending just one note to him..... that note reading: "How stupid do you think that I am? I won't hang around waiting for your reply, you insufferable RAT!!!!"
You may quote me on that, if you'd like....
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 January 2012):
 I think basically you are angry. Not at the guy but at yourself. For having been naive, for having failed to protect your dignity and feelings, for having let a semi-stranger treat you like second ( or fourth, or sixth ) best. For having made an emotional investment which gave no return.
These things happen. Live and learn. You have a great boyfriend now, enjoy him and drop contacts with the other guy. These blasts from the past never serve any useful purpose.
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