A
female
age
30-35,
*arahprettybby
writes:Would it be better to lose your virginity to someone your totally madly in love with? Or someone you dont care too much for?? I want to lose it to someone im in love with but i dont wanna feel a huge freakin piece missing from me if/when we break up. Im scared of someone having that much power over me to make me feel so much hurt when they leave. I was completely devastated when this guy I love left me for the first time and I couldnt imagine how much more it would hurt if i had gave my virginity to him. Now he's back. I love him but im scared. If you lost it to someone you dont care too much for would it be better because they wouldnt have that power to hurt you?...like you wouldnt care if they left??..or wouldnt be that attached to them?I DONT KNOW!..help please?? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sarahprettybby +, writes (15 October 2010):
Sarahprettybby is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much!
Before i read this i was leaning on the "not getting hurt safe side with someone i dont love".
I really needed that different perspective that you all have taken the time to show me.
THANKYOU :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010): ONLY lose you virginity to someone you love - And NEVER be afraid of being hurt, yes sure it's the most painful experience you can ever go through ( other than a physical pain ) but it demonstrates you are capable of LOVING, and giving yourself regardless of the consequences. That will probably seem strange to you, after all you have already been through a painful experience, but really this is ALL part of life, and not something to run and hide from, if you do, you also avoid, run from the most BEAUTIFUL of feelings, being in love, having someone make you feel so alive, you can't imagine what you ever felt like before they cam along.
You also become emotionally withdrawn, clinical, if you don't allow someone to enter your heart - as with everything, use it or lose it, meaning EMOTIONS have to be flexed and used just like muscles, otherwise you become emotionally stunted, dysfunctional, and without emotion, we are nothing more than machines.
I'm so sorry you have been hurt so much already, but as I detect from your question, it is tainting your OUTLOOK on LOVE and LIFE..Please don't let it, as I say, life is a long journey, and there will be many times you may be hurt for one reason or another...it's what makes us grow, and become rounded human beings.
IF and when you feel hurt, just go with it, and allow yourself to feel it..it's those that don't do this,that try to MOVE on from it, before they have actually gone through ALL their feelings until they feel at peace again, that usually become quite bitter, and it shows..Don't let this happen to you.
So..wait until you're in-love, until you want to be with him more than anything, until you know him, until you know he cares for you, has feelings for you..Never let any man use your body as though it's a commodity, you will dislike that MORE than if you fall in-love and it doesn't work out.
Jilly x
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 October 2010):
Someone you love, and someone who actually loves and cares about you. i.e. not a guy who ran off first time around, nor to a someone you have no feelings for, because both are meaningless. This guy who's come back into your life is in no way the guy you should be considering. Wait until you find someone who loves and cares for you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Boy Blue +, writes (14 October 2010):
Indeed losing your virginity to someone you love that you may break up with sounds bad but there is just as much emotional set backs to losing your virginity with someone you don't love. You may not appreciate sex there after, or feel used. If you avoided losing your virginity with someone you love it may even spark a long chain of problems with commitment. As you can see things are not so black and white.
Lose your virginity when you feel you are ready. I don't know about the "totally madly in love" part but someone you love and feel comfortable with is a good for starters.
...............................
A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 You should lose your virginity to someone you love, and who loves you back.
You're sharing your body with someone else, you need to be able to trust them.
Don't lose your virginity to someone you don't care for. Lose it to someone you trust not to hurt you.
Don't avoid what could be a memorable experience by being a afraid of getting hurt. You're going to meet many people who will have the power to hurt you, that doesn't mean they will.
...............................
|
