A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok...I'm super confused! and i have no idea what to do!ok, this is complicated so read it slowly to understand.I'm in love with his guy who also loves me. (or so he says) and I've believe this for 6 yrs but today I have doubts. We haven't been together for the whole 6yrs and this is where it gets complicated. we were together for the first 3 and half yrs. then we split for 2years and was not talking, until last yr when he emailed me asking for us to start talking again. I was thrilled by this because i still have strong feelings for him and about two days after talking again he explained that he felt the same. we have been talking again since.the thing that complicates the situation is that at the time he had a girlfriend but they split up about 2months ago and he said that he would get back with me once he had got over her.fair enough. but on his myspace i saw she had left a comment saying that she loves him. he claims that he doesnt have myspace and that he didnt start the account. and he asked her about it and she said she has nothing to do with it and that she didnt leave the comment. regardless of that my one of my ex best m8s has told me he has told her that he likes her 2. he says he doesnt. she also told me that he is with his ex again. he said that he isnt.who do i believe?they have both hurt me in the past and lied.however she has more than him.but if i believe him and he is lying i lose her but if i believe her i lose him!what do i do?PLEASE HELP ME!
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best friend, his ex, my ex, myspace, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (30 October 2007):
 Listen any time OK.
Glad to hear that you have regained your friend, they are always the ones who stick by you at the end of the day, men come and go eh!.
Take care and keep on smiling. Good for you girl.
BFN
Country Woman
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate: turns out he was lying about everything, he didnt even love me anymore, it was all a plan of revenge, i've moved on and couldnt b happier, me and my friend r talking again and life is great.
thanks for all ur advice it helped me alot.
x
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (11 June 2007):
You have trusted your gut instinct on this and only time will tell if he is telling the truth or not.
Tread carefully with this at the moment as the last thing I would want to see is you getting hurt.
Unfortunately until you have concrete evidence that something is amiss there is nothing you can confirm either way.
As this ex best mate has been lying to you on numerous occasions I would take everything she says with a pinch of salt, she may be telling the truth or she may not but past history does not go in her favour as you have said.
If you talk to this guy, make sure he looks you in the eye when he tells you something so that you can see whether he is lying or not, if he averts his eyes elsewhere or looks up to the sky as such then he is lying more than likely.
Don't hinge all your hopes on this guy but just keep an open mind right now.
I must say though that it was very sweet when you came back to say thank you for all the help you have received, your parents would be very proud of the very good mannered girl that you are so keep up the good work eh!
Stay strong and positive and everything will come good for you eventually I am sure.
Take care.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmore info: i also remembered that once before me and my friend caught *lisa* out lying. so i've decided to believe him because he hasnt ever lied to me! :)
even so thankyou ever so much for all of ur help. it did help me. alot.
thankyou so much
xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUPDATE:when my other friend ask *lisa* if we were friends again she laughed!
what does that mean?
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (7 June 2007):
If the whole argument centred around your ex bf there is a good chance that this is her way of getting him out of your life but I would do as Chrissy32789 suggests and see if she will make the phone call so you know the complete truth.
I would take all of her advice right now with a pinch of salt but also become the detective with your ex as well to see if there is another woman on the scene or not.
Perhaps get a friend to drive you to where he lives so he doesn't recognise the car but park down the road when you know he should be at home. You may have a long wait in a car so take provisions.
I would say though that I wouldn't do it all night every night, just try it once and see if there is any evidence of anything going on for yourself or instead perhaps get a friend to see if he goes to a particular pub or club and see if he meets up with anyone.
Stay strong and positive though on this and don't feel weak right now as you need to stay focused until you know for certain so don't make assumptions until you have proof OK.
Best of luck.
Speak to you soon.
Country Woman
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok to complete the story, she is my ex best friend because we had a massive argument about HIM! and we have only just started talking again and she goes and tells me this. but she knows he loves me. so i dunno whether to thinkin she is lying cz she likes him or not. but thats deffo a possibility. what do u think?
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (7 June 2007):
Chrissy 32789 has got a point, that is one way to find out the whole truth.
The other part that I am confused about is you say about your ex best mate, why is she your ex best mate and then you are listening to what she is saying, doesn't totally tally that bit I must admit.
I think this whole myspace thing has brought a lot of people a lot of misery as well as all sorts have come out on it to my knowledge.
You say you have talking now for some time to your ex, why is there no mention of meeting up or surprising him at his address and then you can see for yourself whether he is seeing someone else.
I would be a bit of a detective if it was me. You need to know for sure what is going on.
Your ex best mate could be throwing a spanner in the works by saying what she has, on the other hand it could be the truth or he could have been just nice to her but not in the way she thinks.
If your ex best mate refuses to make the call then you know she is lying for sure, otherwise she would be willing to let you see the truth for yourself.
Good luck and keep us posted eh.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
female
reader, Ms_Iwal  +, writes (7 June 2007):
Cutting your ties with both parties sounds best. It seems you cannot trust either. If you continue to persue the guy i think there will always be doubts in your mind and it doesnt sound like hes the honest person. Move on and find love somewhere else it will be less complicated. Trust is a big thing and if you dont have that then those people dont deserve to be your friend. If they`ve both hurt ad lied, cut your losses and move on it will be the best move in the end. Ms_Iwal
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): its up to you....if u love that both then u hurt break it up.
Love first yourself before others.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, chrissy32789  +, writes (7 June 2007):
 hun, this may sound crazy but 3 way them have your best friend call him and listen to what they say but dont say nothing and tell your best friend not to tell him that you are on the phone to...and if he says that he likes her you know its true, but if he tells her he dont then you know she lied....and about the myspace thing, go on it and tell him to and see what he says about it...we cant tell you who to belive because we dont know the whole story about your friend and your ex, but just listen to the both of them and here what they have to say. good luck and let us know what happens
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