Whilst we were on a break he fathered a child - What should I do?

A female age 36-40, *ard_decision writes:

I really need advice from people who have gone through my situation or know of someone who has. I'll try and keep it short. I was in a relationship with a guy for 2 years when I told him we needed a break so he could sort himself out, our relationship was never a smooth one, he constantly lied and hurt me. I needed the break because I wanted him to re-evaluate his life and figure out his priorities and if he loved me the way he said he did, he would mature and realise there is more to life then getting your ego stroked but other girls. Hes 26 and I'm 23. During this break he lived with his sister, constantly cried and begged me to let him come home, but I knew he wasnt ready too however I did feel that he was making progress. I found out he had been sleeping with another girl since Feb 09, I found out in July 09...when I found out this girl was already over 2 months pregnant. This absolutely distroyed my heart. To think that after all I had done for him this is how he repaid me, by not only sleeping with someone else (even after denying it when I asked him before I actually found out) but also didnt use protection obviously. I promised myself on that day that I was done with him, he had too many chances before that he ruined. Fast forward to now...the baby is 3 weeks old, he is in her life however tells me he doesnt want the mother. He tells me hes changed and wants to find the balance in being a great dad and being a great partner to me. I feel he is sincere but I just dont know what to do. Do I put myself on the line again and allow him back into my life... knowing that the childs mother may cause problems, or do I just turn away and leave..knowing its going to crush me to walk away but may be the best thing in the long run? I know children take up alot of time, especially a newborn... I know his daughter comes first now.. I just dont know if hes worth all the work thats to come if I do take him back. Please if anyones ever made it work or not let me know, I need all the advice I can get.

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