A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my wife and i got back togather after a year i had sex only once. she had sex with two guys the first one she says she kick off the other guy she was in a relationship with and had sex many times but says she was not in to it or didn't like it. she would always come to me for sex while we where split up i mad bcuz she got more action than me should i be mad or take it as a complement?
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (17 February 2011):
 I think you are asking the wrong questions. If you broke up after a taking a vow of marriage slept around and had noncommitted sex with each other then why do you think you are ready to be married after a year apart when you are still focused on how much "action" she got over you?
The real question begs the answer are you two ready to stop screwing around and be committed to your marriage? I think it doesn't look good. Please don't get pregnant to keep this sinking ship afloat it won't work. Get counseling instead.
A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (17 February 2011):
Your mad because your wife got more action than you? Was it a competition? If you got the same action would you feel even and not be mad? Or do you need to "win" and be the one who got more action?
I think you need to step back and figure out what you are really mad about. I know men are very possessive sexually... perhaps you are really mad that someone else got to touch her while you still had feelings for her, because even though you were separated, you still felt like she was "YOUR wife".
Once you find the real reason you are mad, you need to listen to it, acknowledge it and try to let it go. If you and your wife are trying to start again fresh, carrying old resentments will not help you. Starting over means forgetting the past.
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A
female
reader, lucy.whittaker  +, writes (17 February 2011):
 You should do neither. In my opinion in the time which you were separated you have no say over what she did and who she saw. It makes no difference if those men were better than you, or if she got more than you. Your attitude sounds very possessive and insecure - She should not have to explain herself for what she did while you were not together, simple as that. You should be focusing on repairing the relationship now, forgetting the past and any mistakes or issues you had and look to your future together.
Of course it may hurt that she saw other people while you were apart, but you can't take that out on her. It shouldn't factor as an issue when you're rebuilding the relationship. It was her prerogative to sleep with other people. If your ego can't handle that then you may have to re-think your renewed attempt at the relationship.
Lucy
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A
female
reader, Rose22  +, writes (17 February 2011):
 hmm, you say she was coming to you for sex when you guys were not together? to me that is strange. normally when someone has split up with someone else they dont have sex with them also. were you going to her for sex as well? if that was something you both agreed on and you knew she was having sex with other people to then i guess it wasnt a problem? but you say you got mad because she was getting more than you? it sounds like you weren't completely separated from her and were probably a wee bit jealous?
as you are back together now im not sure it matters much anymore but if it really bothers you then you should talk to her. im not sure its neither a complement or an offense. but i really think you should talk to her now if it bothers you. as your in a relationship again with her im sure it will be fine now.
all the best
redrose
xxx
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