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female
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*n love too long
writes: I have been in love with a co-worker for four years. When I first met him, I wasn't interested in a relationship or in starting something with a co-worker. But, as time went on, I found myself having feelings for him. By the time I realized that I really was in love with him, he had already started dating someone else. They have now been together for three years. What's the point of saying anything now. I would just end up embarrassing myself - right?? But I feel like I have to know. Sometimes when we talk, I feel like I can sense that he knows that I like him, and at times I feel that he feels something too - he turns bright red when I run into him unexpectedly (but maybe he just knows and wants to avoid me??) What should I do - I need to move on and know this is not healthy for me. I've never felt so strongly about anyone before. If he knows, then why wouldn't he make a move?? I don't want to break up his relationship or make a fool of myself. But I am always wondering what if . . .????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2006): i am in the same boat as you...sigh...for now my mouth is shut. tightly.
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (4 March 2006):
 You are not *in love* with tis guy. You are infatuated. You cannot be in love with somebody you dont know!
He is fighting it if he fancies you.
Leave him alone, he is in a relationship and to mess that up would be unfair. If he wants you then he will come and tell you at some point.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2006): You will have to keep wondering because...no, you do not say a word to him. What purpose would that serve to this man and his relationship, to approach him and tell him you are in love with him? Firstly, one doesn't think of only what "they want" and we never, ever interfere's in another's love relationship. That's pretty self-serving behaviour. Secondly, women who fall in love with men who are already "taken" betray themselves. If he dumps her for you..then he could do the same to you, someday. Also, by telling him your feelings... you are acting with intent and that is highly inappropriate and what would this type of behaviour tell him? Granted, he could be flattered at first, but after he thinks about it for awhile, he'll be questioning your motives. So many women do this without any clear thought for the feelings of the other people in these love triangles. He has a gf, respect her and respect their relationship. Do the right thing and just move on and find another nice man to date..just get out there and have fun. Take the focus off this guy..it will be hard but it will be the 'right' thing to do. Good luck dear and best of luck
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (20 February 2006):
 Leave him alone. If he likes you, he's tryng hard to fight it. That's what you're supposed to do when you're in a relationship. He seserves credit for that. Find another man. You don't need to know about "what if". In tis case it's none of your business.
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