| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been seeing my girlfriend for a few months, she is also my best friend but before we started going out I met another girl at uni (who is married to a man) and had a fling with her, we remained friends. I feel that with my girlfriend the connection is spiritual and sexual and at times emotional and I love her, and yet with this other girl the connection is extremely emotional and I can sense her thoughts and she can sense mine. Since the affair, we see each other occasionally as friends and she is still with her husband. I dream about her a lot which freaks me out. I dont think that I am seeking something with this girl and I dont think that I am filling a void (because my girlfriend gives me alot in all ways possible) but I cant keep away from the other girl and yet know that there can be nothing more between us. I am not even sure that I want more because that would hurt the people we are with. But I cant help loving her in a special way. what is there to do? can anything be done? and what is more special: a spiritual connection or an emotional one, because I know now that there is a difference...
View related questions:
affair, best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2006): I know exactly how you feel, I have the same kind of situation. My girlfriend gives me everything I need, space, love, attention, understanding. She is a dream woman. We even bought a house together (and in South Africa, that's a big thing, houses are hugely expensive).
Then I went and fell in love with another girl, who has something my girlfriend doesn't. She's spontaneous, which my girlfriend is not. Something so small and silly had me falling over my feet for her. Why? Because I'm spontaneous, and the planner that my girlfriend is, is restricting probably the most important aspect of my personality.
She lives many hours drive away, so I don't get to see her. I dream of her, I smell her everywhere. But I don't love my gf any less.
Some of us will always have a "The One that got away".
A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (20 February 2006):
 Perhaps you always will love her in a special way but I think my best advice to you would be to try and keep away from this lady as you aren't being entirely fair on yourself or your girlfriend. Allow yourself to realise that what you had was special and perhaps in another life time, you would be soul mates but because of matters beyond your control, this can't be so.
Instead, cherish your girlfriend with whom you share so much. Let the other girl go from your mind; even if you were single, she is married and she is still with her husband. I don't know why she had an affair with you, she may be in a terrible marriage and can see no way out but even though your connection was highly emotional, remember she is also capable of deception.
Keep your fling with her as a memory in your mind and don't see her so that you can give your relationship with your girlfriend a deserving chance.
...............................
|
