| A
female
,
*irlfriend
writes: Ok my storys kinda complicated...Before I got married to this guy Ive been with for four years, we were having problems and we started seeing different people. At the time my girlfriend had introduced me to her brother who is still currently in a relationship but he is very unhappy. Fast forward a year. We hang out, we click, we talk, and it moves on to something deeper. We have sex. Again and again and again until my feelings get involved. But what hurt me is that he gave the impression that he still wanted to be with her. Of all the stuff I heard about this chick and what she does to him, he chose her! So after that my now hubby and i got back together and later we got married.....fast forward a year lateri moved back home for a few months to get help with my kids from my mom because my hubby is in Iraq. I get home, I see my girlfriend and HIM. Turns out that his feelings have changed. Of the year I was gone he missed me, caught feelings for me and wants to be with me but whats stopping him is that im married. thinking that i left my feelings for him alone when i moved, i didnt, and the shocking discovery left me speechless. so i avoided him for a few days because i didnt want to send off the wrong signals. but then i decided to be nice and talk to him. well he confessed how he felt and we talked. hugged. laughed. then he snuck me a kiss and the feelings came back. oh my god. i care about both of them, i love my husband and i care about the other guy, my feelings are involved. but he is still with her. why hasnt he left? this girl has made his life a living hell, from hitting him to embarrassing him. what can i do? i want him to notice me but then again im not sure what i want to do.help!
View related questions:
got back together, notice me Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): Well this would be a test of your love for your man now isn't it? If your love for your man isn't strong enough and you end up sleeping around with your ex, then that says it all doesn't it?
Why not take the chance? You seem to already have the libido to support your desires. No, it's not all about the sex, but I'm sure whatever 'comfort' your ex gives you in place of the missing comfort your husband is unable to give at the moment, on top of the worry that you may never see your husband again, is quite daunting on you.
Often, people get married to the wrong people, and others would suggest you strive to better your existing relationship, but that's the fallacy of marriage. Of course like TwilightDiamond had mentioned, it would be a great depressive emotion to get the news of my wife wanting a divorce if I'm at war somewhere in a foreign country. Then again, if you're not with the right man, you might as well break up with him now. If you're more compassionate, break-up with him after he comes back.
A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (17 October 2006):
 I think everyone here agrees that this is a terrible idea. He's not going to leave her for you. He's shown you that and is continuing to show you were his heart really is. How blind can you be??? You are a breath of fresh air when he needs one and when he wants to love he goes home!!! Concentrate on your husband. This man's life is on the line daily and now the fiber of his marriage is on the line. He has to leave one fight and return to another. This is cruel and you are selfish. Look how many lives you have in the balance. Your husband, your children and your fling's wife. Granted she is cruel to him thats what he chose. No matter how she treats him its he who chose to live that way. Don't justify your feelings for him by how he is being treated. Think of your family.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2006): You have one priority right now, your HUSBAND. Don't let this other drama (which is what it is) get in the way of your priorities. It truly saddens me that your husband is at war right now and you are more worried about your own selfish desires. What has our society come to. My other half is in the military as well and the last thing on my mind when he is gone would be something like this. Don't worry about your exes problems, and put an end to this flirtation. I think you should send a nice care package to the one that truly loves you and the father of your children(I assume). The grass always seems greener when one side is 1000's of mile away.. Don't confuse lonliness for having feelings for your ex. Find a new job, hobbies or anything that will keep you busy. Think about the BIG picture! I hope that you respect your husband and do the right thing. He would surely appreciate it and so would your kids..
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (17 October 2006):
 You say this girl made your "friends" life a living hell. Well you're on the road to doing the same thing to your husband. Let me get this straight, you don't say anything negative about your marriage and the only thing that has to happen is some other guy comes along and you let him get close enough to "sneak" akiss. You're trying to justify your own bad behaviour. Youlet him kiss you. You shouldn't get that closse to other men you've slept with when you know what the feelings are and you're married. I feel sorry for your husband who is fighting some war a million miles away and his biggest battle is at home.
...............................
A
female
reader, twilightdiamond  +, writes (17 October 2006):
 I dont think you should react to this other guy. Firstly he is still with the other girl and likely always will be. Some guys are like that. Second (and more importantly) it isn't fair on your husband to be trying to have a relationship with another guy. If you think you must be with this other guy then wait for your husband to come back and break the news to him then. How awful would it be to be fighting overseas and discover your wife has cheated on you?
...............................
|
