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male
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*reywolf
writes: I have been seeing this lady for 7 years. She is married with three children. Her husband has in the past treated her badly.When we met in the begining there was an instant spark between us. We made each other laugh we enjoyed all the good things of a new relationship as is the norm. As time has gone by we have become very close and know more about each other than anyone else.Two years ago this christmas her best friend decided to tell her husband about what has been going on and we split up on boxing day.A few months later i saw her driving past my house and she had made telephone calls to my mobile but put the phone down every time i answered. After a few weeks of this we started chatting and then started seeing each other again. This went on for about 6 months and then out of the blue she said it was finished again.I had a hard time dealing with it all. Turned to drink to solve my problems, (Am now past that)Recently we started seeing eachother again but as the norm i have been left to pick up the pieces of a very broken heart.Some might say that she is not worth it, others might say that i should not have got involved in the first place. You cannot help who you fall in love with can you?Some help please here as am a man with a very big heart which keeps getting broken by someone i love so very much.Some advice would be most welcome...Many thanks.
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male
reader, Greywolf +, writes (23 October 2006):
Greywolf is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou. It is very hard to go to places and meet new people. I guess my self asteem and self worth have taken a knock here. I know that getting out and about getting to know new people is the way to go, but when you feel as if you have had the stuffing knocked out of you it is a very difficult thing to do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): Greywolf, perhaps this is why you feel as if she's the only one for you-your feelings of loneliness are perhaps, hinering you progression here. Get proactive and do something about it. Try some online dating, or visit a good singles club, go places that interest you and meet people. Help yourself through this but if you sit and mope about her...you will find yourself in the same self-defeating patternh. Good luck.
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male
reader, Greywolf +, writes (18 October 2006):
Greywolf is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to those that have replied.
I do not like any sort of misery, i am a very forgiving loyal man. I have broken contact and have now changed my telephone number, so this should remedy some of the problem.
Having feeling as if you have been kicked in the stomach is not very easy to deal with, as well as all the emotions that go with any break up.
The fact that i could love someone as much as i love her is a scary place to be, and is very confusing when left alone to deal with it all. After all she has people around her i most certainly do not.
Thanks again for replies that have been posted.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (18 October 2006):
 You must love the misery. Go ahead and keep seeing her and getting your heart broken. You know what you need to do, you just don't want to do it. Good luck, you're going to need it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2006): Yes, you can help who you fall in love with, dear. Your first red flag with this woman, was the fact she was married with three children. So now how do you stop this cycle of heartbreak? You just do it by stopping all contact. Easier said than done, aye? But think rationally for a moment. Look at what this is doing to you. The loss of this 'so-called' love is becoming more than a person loss-it's becoming a person loss-you! And that is the pain you are suffering. The problem is not one of letting go of her-it's the fact that you can't be strong and hang onto yourself here. You are a emotionally dependent man who has acquired his self-esteem through an attachment to an unavailable, married woman. Why are you making your life such a sad, fragile experience, dear? Think about what's hooking you into this seedy relationship? You never, ever trust a married woman who wants to continually boink you. She' s using you. All you can trust about her, is she'll continually be untrustworthy. Take your big heart and give it to a woman who is worthier, dear. Do the time, like all of us, stop all contact..grieve...mourn...heal and recover. My heart is with you...be strong and good luck!
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