| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Subject - Grave concerns over self harming girlfriendI and my girlfriend are teens and have been together for several months and love each other very much. Everything is working well in the relationships exept that over the time we have been together I have become gradually aware (by means of horrifying and graphic accounts each more unsettling for me than the last) of emotional issues that she has: These include bad memorys of events that have taken place in the past such as at least 2 pregnacys that have led to an abortion and miscarriage as a result of unplanned,unprotected intoxicated sex as the most serios.I am also aware that this has led to self harm (arm cutting) fairly recently and a suicide attempt in the past. I also somtimes feel guilty and awkward at finding it difficult to find the right comforting things to say to her (and this is not becuase I do not feel any sympathy as it upsets me greatly).Becuase she means a lot to me I get worried about her genral feelings and mental health and cannot understand for myself exactly what is going on here.I also greatly fear the possibly dire and tragic concequences of a future break or other traumatic event. Although I have no desire for this to happen anytime soon.If you could give me answers,advice or anything that might help it would be greatly appreciated.Many Thanks
View related questions:
abortion, no desire Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, !x!T!x!  +, writes (17 October 2006):
 the best thing you can do is encourage her to speak to a doctor because without professional help she cant overcome this i know this for a fact because i was a self harmer and have also attempted suicide a couple of times myself i suffer from depression and another yet to be diagnosed mental illness, since attending regular appointments with phsychiatrists phsychologists councellors and other helpful support groups ect i seem to be getting better with every day and i am starting to get my life back it also could not be done without the support of my family and friends who have helped get me where i am today ...that is where u come in, i know it sounds cheezy but just remind her that when things get bad and shes having thoughts of suicide or cutting herself that shes got through it before and she can get through it again things always get better in the end up and she'll be a stronger person at the end of it.
A
female
reader, twilightdiamond  +, writes (17 October 2006):
 My best friend used to cut herself... I found that people only do it for two reasons. 1. they want attention. or 2. they can find relief from emotional pain by causing physical pain. Now for people that want attention the best way to stop it is to show your distaste for it, tell them it is stupid and pointless and that most people only do it for attention. Now it sounds to me like your gf isn't doing for attention, she has so much emotional pain that she can find relief in cutting herself. You can't stop her by just telling her how much you worry, she'll just cut herself somewhere that you dont look at often. The best thing to do is to try and stop this emotional pain she is feeling. Be a good boyfriend, try and make her forget about the past and focus on what she has with you now. When someone you care about harms themsleves it can be hard to deal with but I'm sure you'll get through this. Just be strong for her.
...............................
|
