A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok. I'm 33 years old. I've spent the last couple years either working at my job, working on rebuilding a foreclosed home I purchased, or trying to find a GF. I wasn't spending a large amount of time on actually making friends. One thing I learned with the women I have dated is that women want to meet people. They want some one who is going to enlarge their social circle and increase their lifestyle. They also want some one who is going to be a compliment to their life....not a burden. I've also learned that being a single 33 yr old nice guy with no children I was drawn toward women with children cuz of wanting a family. Unfortunately being a :) NICE guy :) got me used usually as way to torment the GFs ex. So the reality seems to have hit me that I need to start over from scratch. I need to develop friendships. I need to finish my home. I need to finish my career. My career and home I don't need help on. Where I need help is on figuring out how to meet people being 33 years old. I haven't gone out much in my area other than to bars with the few friends I do have and that is never a good place to meet people. I assume I can figure it all out but this was just a chance for me to rant and rave a lil bit about what I have learned in the past 3 years from moving to the city from the country. I guess the question should be what do I do and where do I go from here? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TEM +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Have you tried the local meetup groups in your area? I have a friend around your age that moved to one of the biggest US cities. He didn't want to go to bars or online dating sites. He just wanted to meet people to hang out with. The meetup sites are a good place to start. his interests were tennis, motorcycling, hiking, biking, and playing the acoustic guitar. He found a bunch of people to do these things with through Meetup.com
To get an idea of the activities that interest you, sit down with a pen and paper and write down ten things you love to do - this is just an exercise, don't worry if the things don't seem impressive, important, or even very real (if you like to spend time imagining new board games, for example). Next, try and see if any known hobbies, interests, sports, etc. contain some of the elements of things you love to do. For example, I love birds and the ocean. I'd like to meetup with a group that takes pelagic birdwatching trips. For simpler activities there is a birdwatching meetup group near me I could join. There is even one that is interested solely in shorebirds.
This is a nice, nonthreatening way to meet other singles that have things in common with you. I have seen meetup groups for interests as narrow as picking nonpoisonous wild mushrooms to interests as broad as a moms with school age kids.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Since you live in the states, try an online group called MEETUP.COM and look for social groups in your area with your interests/age group/singles.
I recommended this to a good freind of mine and he is busy all the time making new freinds!
Go to places YOU enjoy and you are going to run into people who enjoy those places too. Work on your conversation skills.
Do you attend any religious organizations? Churches/Temples often have social groups and planned activities.
Now that the weather is turning warm-how about picking up a nice outdoor hobby?
Best Wishes.
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A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Believe me, man. I feel your pain. I have always had problems finding friends. It drives my wife crazy.
I think one place to start is to think about what your interests are. Any hobbies that you enjoy?
See if you can find any groups or clubs in the city related
to a hobby or interest that may have regular meetings, or outings or something. Try attending something like that?
I know my wife was really interesting in cycling. She found a local cycling group, and now socializes with them on bike rides and such.
It's a start!
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