A
male
age
36-40,
*evil Crazy
writes:Hi all,I have been a little troubled lately. Yesterday I was chatting with a guy 4 years older than me online and I found out that he is a rich sex hound. Sex-crazed, no morals, rich, conceited and he doesn't give a damn about screwing around. As for me on the other hand, I am an ordinary university undergraduate who believes that sex only comes after love and live by my principles that is the exact opposite of his. However, I just feel I can't find a decent girl nowadays that share the same belief as me as guys like him are on the large. Hence I am a little depressed. How do I meet decent girls? Any advice or comments would be appreciated.Devil CrazyP.S. I have already deleted and blocked him from my MSN list, 'cos I don't want to be tainted by his thinking.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007): Personally sir, I'm of the same mind regarding some men's ideals and lifestyles with women in this day and age. I was raised on "old-fashioned" morals and I believe very firmly that chivalry isn't dead. You're not alone on this one my friend.
And to the wonderful ladies that responded to this gentleman's query- THANK YOU for the wonderful suggestions.
A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (15 December 2007):
 To some people morality and decency are 1950's concept and there is no difference for a woman or a man to f...around with 10, 20, 30 and 40 or more men or women.
to them you can f...around without your morality and character tainted or changed or affected or untouched until you find your love...
So to them to f...once or 30 times not differs at all. And past is past and no relevance to today, or to what kind of person she or he is of today..as if that person is born today..
Anyways I agree with the aunts here except the sarcastic tone of starfairy that I believe there are nice decent ladies out there who value their body heart and sex and you will meet them in the places they have suggested.
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A
female
reader, Confusedinthecity84  +, writes (15 December 2007):
 I understand your disgust. It seems as if everyone's out for a good time, and no one takes love seriously anymore. But, there are a few of us girls out there who'd much prefer the lifetime over the one-time. In fact, I think a lot of girls prefer committed, loving relationships over one-night stands and random hookups. It's just that we're guilted into feeling like prudes if we don't conform to the other girls who seem to do whatever they want without regret. Some of us have been messed over by players before. A lot of us are on the retreat, convinced, like you, that no one cares about morality or decency or other people's feelings anymore.
Look for the girls you might not expect. The bookish kind or the ones out volunteering. Look for the ones (among your friends, maybe) who don't bounce from relationship-to-relationship. The ones that first catch your eye might not be the best ones. Look to the periphery of the room, and find the ones who are involved in the lecture, the music, or whatever, and not throwing themselves out to be gawked at.
Thank you for your post. I know it's frustrating, but you bring up a great point. It's nice to see a man say that it's okay (and even preferable) to have moral standards for your interactions with the opposite sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): What makes you think that just because you talked to one undecent guy that has any reflection on the decency of girls these days?? That makes no sense. And just because most of the girls that he dates are sluts doesn't mean all girls are. I mean a guy like him tends to attract a certain type of girl. Just like a guy like you will probably attract a very different type of girl. Judging by my own tastes, I would probably want to meet a guy (and for you a girl) at a gallery, or an art opening, at college (grad students), at a coffee shop maybe, through mutual friends of course, at a party or an office party (if you know someone who has a GOOD job then go to one of their functions), at the gym. Stuff like that.I currently work at a art gallery and we are mostly girls who work there and the girls I work with are so pretty (I don't know why my job draws pretty girls) and everybody is so professional and classy and intelligent and sophisticated, dress beautifully. I mean really top notch girls. Any guy would be smitten. Its a really lovely place. Just try to hang out with people and at places that are sophisticated and you have every chance in the world of getting what you want.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (15 December 2007):
 We decent women are sitting at home being depressed because we have been hurt by cads like this man you've seem to run into. Our hearts want to find a decent man like you but we are afraid. You'll bump into us in the grocery store, in the book store, at the gas station and at school or at work. We aren't loud or looking for you, and it will take someone like you to open us back up to the realization that men like you exist. So, open a door for us, offer to lift heavy object or just tell us to have a nice day.
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A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (15 December 2007):
 Poeple talk alot when it's on the internet, they invent themselves as who they want to be or to be percieved as.As for girls, you seem to be looking in the wrong places. It's like going out to a nightclub to find a girl to have a wholesome relationship with, chances are slim.Perhaps you should think about where you might find girls with similar interests to you. What clubs you could join. Go from there...Otherwise, you could always start going to church every Sunday :oP
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