A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Where are all the good guys? Sick of getting hurt:(?Omg I dont understand why nice guys keep going after moody and bitchy girls when good girls are just here dying for a guy to treat them right cause they keep getting hurt by @ssholes. Is like the universe has a weird sense of humour:(..xWill a good girl and a good guy ever meet each other?I just want to meet a nice guy who will me the way I love him:(But is not happening. Im 22 and I've never met a nice guy. Been single for a year now and I refuse to go out with anyone until I know for a fact he's a nice guy.Maybe I will die alone:(Does any else feel this way?O Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 April 2012):
There are some good posts here, and I think that ultimately your problem is a mixture of the different answers.
1 - Either you're not taking enough chances, so you're not in a position where you can meet a nice guy. If that's so, you might also be coming across as either too stand-off-ish, or perhaps someone who is simply too hard to catch.
2 - Because you've been seen with the wrong guys, Mr Right thinks that perhaps you're a girl prone to picking the wrong guy. I knew a girl who was always dating the wrong guys and complaining about it. Of course, she entirely overlooked the fact that Mr right could hardly come along if she was always with Mr Idiot.
The point being, either you're being too selective at this stage and you're not meeting the right guys because you're giving off "I'm not available" signals, or you've dated too many wrong guys and now maybe the right ones are confused.
Take your time, continue to meet guys, continue to have standards and all that. But try to relax and don't make a man the centre of your universe. That way, you'll meet people and seem available without appearing closed to all men, or prone to picking the wrong one.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012): Hey OP, we have meetings in the park on saturdays at 3pm, come along, we sing Kumbaya around a campfire and discuss all the ways we can serve women and be good to them.
OP you're doing it wrong. You have to be willing to take the chance and find out if they're a nice guy through the process of dating. Not by carefully vetting them before you even let them get close to you. We go for the mean-spirited bitches because they allow us to, they don't make us work as hard as you make guys work and they date us, get to know us while dating and don't make us go through strip searches and background checks beforehand.
If you're not open to meeting nice guys you'll never find one, sure that opens you up to the bad ones too but that's a risk we all have to take. You have to kiss a few frogs before one turns into a prince.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 April 2012):
 A good girl that keeps being hurt by a..holes is not a good girl. She may be good as in having a heart of gold, but she is not good as in good dating material, she will have traits which are unappealing to good guys- like, not having a good head on her shoulders.
People only treat you the way you allow them to, so if our good girl always lets herself be treated as a dishrag, she probably will have low self esteem, she will be needy, anxious and insecure. She will not be a discriminating person, she won't take the time to choose, and evaluate, and really take the guy's measures , to see if he is a good guy or a potential a..hole. She will be gullible, naive and desperate for attention, she'll impulsively jump in into situations without heading the warning signals. When the a..hole starts being an a..hole , she won't immediately say " Ok I am out of here"- she will stay and take emotional abuse, because she is terrified of being alone, she'll think that a bad guy is better than no guy.
Lack of independence , lack of self respect, and willingness to compromise your standards - rather unappealing.
If she is so attracted to a..holes it may also mean that she is attracted by superficial things, like a good physique, or a reputation of " popularity ", or being a smooth talker and cocky, this kind of fluff, and not by any moral quality a " good " guy may have in abundance.
Her attachment to bad guys and reluctance to be alone will be probably also motivated by the fact the her life is sort of dull- not very rich socially, intellectually, or spiritually- she will NEED the bad guy to provide that entertainment and stir those emotions, that she is incapable to get in her life other than from romance. Boring !
Maybe I am being harsh, but it's not for the inane pleasure of having a go at a complete stranger. It's just to show you how when there is a recurring problem, and the same thing keeps happening... the problem is us, OP, not them. And anyway , you can't fix " them ", you can only fix you.
Become a different kind of person , and you'll attract a different set of people. Become a person of value , and you'll attract people of value. A good one wants another good one- at least in dating terms.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (17 April 2012):
 Hi
Not everyone no , because they know there is more to life than hunting down the ideal man . You have to be able to get out there and live a little , meet people you can be friends with first rather than looking constantly for the one or looking back at the loser. Your 22 with your whole life in front of you , there are hundreds of nice guys out there you just havent met yet
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ive-spent-too-much-of-my-life-on.html
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