A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:relationship between two people in lovewhat is your definition of how things should be?i have tried to explain it's meaning to my bf and he still doesn't seem to get it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 February 2007):
 Your only choice it to tell him to piss or get off the pot, if he doesn't leave her to be solely with you then you'll need to move on or be stuck in this situation permanently.
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (13 February 2007):
 To the anonymous male writer who quoted scripture but prefaced it with the following quote: "I am not a christian or a religious person at all, quite the opposite in fact"."
In the words of Shakespeare, "Thou doth protest too much."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): Eve, I really like your definition of love, very well put.
I also love the quote in Corinthians 1:13, it is used in a great romantic / coming-of-age film called "A walk to remember". Worth watching.
I feel people throw around the word love far too much. They seem to think it is just all the "nice" feelings you get when you first get together with someone.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (13 February 2007):
 If you have a look at what other people on this site have posted, you will find a lot of cases where women have fallen in love with men who who already have partners. The guy will sometimes keep telling her "yes, I will leave my wife" or "yes, we're planning on getting a divorce" but the months pass by and nothing happens.
In conclusion; I'm sorry to say so, but if he's living with someone else and hasn't left her to be with you, then probably he has no intentions of leaving her. It's just too comfortable for him to be with her.
The only thing you can do at this instance would probably be to tell him that either he leaves his partner or you'll finish the relationship with him and see if that provokes the right reaction.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): I am not a christian or a religious person at all, quite the opposite in fact. But I think the following description of love from the bible is really great, and if you can understand it deeply, it may go some way to answering your question. Good luck.
1 Corinthians 13
Love
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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A
female
reader, kayleighere  +, writes (13 February 2007):
PLEASE READ!!!!! I personally have only been in one love relationship which was not long ago. He was the first boy that i ever learnt to trust, to talk to, to share my deepest feelings, i laughed and cried with him. We began to argue alot, then thats when i thought all my love i had for him was starting to disappear. I then met this boy who was older than me, was smart, good looking, funny. I started to flirt with him to make my boyfriend jealous, it just caused more arguments, the more arguments we had the more i wanted this new older boy, but i did start falling for him, in the end i finished my boyfriend for this new boy,thought it would be less arguments and i would be happier, i've been with him three weeks now and im starting to regret it, i cant get my boyfriend (well ex) out of my thoughts, im depressed all the time because hes in my head every minute of everyday. basically if u cant stop thinking about them, worrying over them and you miss them constantly, you love them no matter what, you can forgive them no matter what, you will put up with his bad habits and all the annoying things he does, then i think yes you love them and if you know you love them dont ever loose them. You dont know what you got until its gone. And once its gone you will regret it for a very long time, because you might never get him back. And he doesnt realise it now but he loves you too. if he thinks hes ever going to lose you or if he ever does, thats when he will realise how much he loved you and how much he wants you back in his life.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (13 February 2007):
 Here is my definition of what true love really means -
If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.
He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.
Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!
Eve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe problem is he lives with someone .they had a child
together.he says they got together because of the child.
he says her family wanted nothing to do with her.that was great for him to take responsibility for his child.but the
child is grown and has kids of her own.they have grown far
apart but he still says he can't leave.he keeps telling me
that where he lives has nothing to do us.i can't get him understand how i feel i want someone to share my life
with make a home of our own.a life we share together.he
has that life there[i know they have seperate bedrooms and
have nothing together they just live in the same house i have talked to her]but he shares my life while his kept in
secret.he says he loves me but 98% of the time he's there.
i can't make him understand how i feel.i love him and being apart so much isn't how it's suppose to be.being
together building a life together is how it should be he
just says i am fussing.he sees nothing wrong but i feel
he is wrong.i have told him to leave me alone but he won't.
he will never change and i won't except is way of thinking.
any advice on getting him to see he's wrong i hope you can help me.explain what a relationship is.
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A
female
reader, dragonette +, writes (12 February 2007):
Relationship is a big topic. I don't know exactly what part of the relationship your boyfriend didn't understand. But basically, a relationship between two people in love with each other will mean that:
a) they're defined as a couple and not having romantic relationships with other people.
b) they will most likely engage in some sort of sexual activities with each other.
c) be there for each other, to support and encourage.
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A
female
reader, depaiva  +, writes (12 February 2007):
 A relationship can mean many things to different people.
A relationship is meant to fulfill what you want and need at a specific time in your life. Such as a relationship between friends-it fulfils the social aspect of your life where you are able to go out and socialize with them.
In a love relationship things are more complex, people want a variety of emotional and physical aspects fulfilled. Some want a companion with similar interest who worships them and spoils them. Others want someone to share their life with -good or bad. Some want to be in an open relationship where they are allowed to see other people in order to satisfy their needs, some are in for the sexual aspect.
In the end a relationship is an agreement between two people, an agreement that satisfies both the partners' emotional and physical and even spiritual needs. And what keeps a relationship strong and going is that both partners' needs are fulfilled and grow in the same direction.
To me, a relationship is a two way road, a 50/50 thing. You share your life with someone-both the good and the bad. You support each other, you care for each other. You do small things for each other-you complete each other. It's an emotional, physical and spiritual fulfillment.
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