A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have known I have been gay for about a year or so, and I have had gay flings wtc but ive never been in a sexual relationship with a girl. I started talking to a girl (friend of a friend) about two months ago, and we were talking and texting loads. I really started to like her and when we met up properly about two weeks ago she was all over me and I had such a good night. I wish I could have been a little more affectionate but I couldnt because my friends were there and they dont know I'm gay. That evening I texted her like I had a really good evening blah blah blah, maybe we could meet up again soon? and she replied saying I'm not letting you get away that easily. I texted her a few times, but we havent spoken for the last two weeks and she doesnt reply to me. She has just sort of disappeared and I really really like her, and cant stop thinking about her, I dont know what to do. She is on holiday this week, then I am away the following week. I may text her when she gets home saying "I miss our chats and really want to see you again, I hope u r okay... type thing" what should I do, its getting me really down and upset?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): you've already texted her and she hasn't replied. don't text her anymore. if she wants to get in touch she will, you should forget about her and fill your time with something else so if she never replies to you then you've already moved on and if she does, well, great!
A
female
reader, Quacked +, writes (22 July 2009):
 The answer is to do as you intend. Send the text when she gets back off her holiday saying,"Hope you had a good break. I miss our chats and really want to see you again..." then stop. You need to leave it up to her at that point otherwise you risk coming across as clingy or over the top. When you are tempted to contact her again put yourself in her shoes; imagine that you're busy and you keep receiving text messages...would you be thinking, "aww that's sweet" or would you get annoyed? Try and gain some perspective.It seems that she had just as much fun as you did so she will get in touch. It may be she's with people that don't know she's gay and so she can't reply to you, or she may just be busy. Give her some time. In the meantime get out and have fun, stop thinking of the worst case scenario. If you dont receive a reply let go. Difficult but a must. You can't put your life on hold for someone that is unable or unwilling to contact you. Try not to lose hope, if its meant to be then it will - if not theres someone else for you. I know it sounds like a cliche but it's true, i've been where you are and struggled with this problem many times over. Hope this helped.Yours,Quacked
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A
female
reader, ErinPatterson  +, writes (22 July 2009):
 you did your part. let it go. if she wants to see you eventually she'll call or text.
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A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (22 July 2009):
 When you say all over you do you mean just exceptionally friendly? Because most girls feel more comfortable and open around gay guys (if she doesn't know you are she may be able to sense it - us girls are clever, you know!!) than straight guys - perhaps she is just being friendly and thinks it's just a friendship and therefore isn't rushing to reply to your texts or anything? Maybe she assumes she'll just see you again when her friend does?
Please don't fret too much sweetie.
x x x x
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