A
female
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anonymous
writes:I have made a big mistake. I used to lie about anything and everything to impresss my friends, and other times lies would just come out without me being able to stop myself from lying. I lie about big things, small things and usually also about things that aren't even worth lying about. I just can't help myself. Recently some of my bigger fibs caught up with me and all of my friends ditched me (I don't blame them). I don't know what to do, I'm trapped in this vicious cycle of lying nonstop. Please help, I'm going mad.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): The fact that you realize that's wrong and that you know you need help you are already one step in the right direction.Bravo!You though of it in your mind,now confes and apologize and act accordingly. Try to know your self and know what you want.Test your self.Have two piggy banks,put a quarter each time you cut yourself telling a lie,or saying the truth in the right piggy bank.Count your investments, donat the liar piggy bank, and keep the truethful.soon you will have enough money to retire. I wish you healthy, wonderful, and truthful life!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007): I have been recently looking at cheesy answers becuase my friend has a popular friend and now shes sucked in with the populars. but thats my problem. -_-
Your issue difficulty depends on the kind of friends they were. if they are forgiving then it will be easy
if they are the'you had a chance and you blew it'' people it will be harder. walk upto them and apologize and say i thought youd like me better if i acted like i was cool and had stuff/did stuff i really dont want to lose you guys BUT WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT SAY IF YOU WERE REAL FRIENDS YOUD STAY WITH ME UNTIL THEY SAY NO best of luck may God bless you -ashley 11y/o
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): Know that you know what you are doing seek help through counseling. I had a friend once who lied so much when she did tell the truth it was hard to believe her. Eventually I ditched her after so many years because her lies were making me physcially ill.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): -Try to relax. I had the same problem for a while. Try sitting down and talking with them, see what's up. I'm sure your afriad of what their reaction will be to the truth, but hey if you give it to them, they make the decision from that. Trust is one of the keys to successful friendships; try it. Also...if your truthful, people will wanna be around you, they're your friends for you. No need to impress them and they're only friends for the lies- its not even worth it. It's gonna take time because trust is hard earned, but if your that set on getting your friends back- being honest and patient is the only way. Have them ask you questions- AND GIVE THEM THE TRUTH.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2005): I wholeheartedly agree with Communicatrix on this-you have serious compulsion to lie and you do need to seek some counselling to overcome it. Some experts believe it has to do with excessive low self-esteem which makes sense. Socially, the liar lies, then he is found out about his lies and is shunned by his peers but he continues a self-destructive vicious cycle of continually telling lies to re-impress his friends and gain back their respect and friendship. A lot of damage has been done and it's hard to retrieve friends back that cannot trust you. And when you lose your friends-your ego and self-esteem take a nosedive and plummet. It really is such self-defeating behaviour and you are the only ONE getting hurt. After all TRUST is the solid foundations of good, meaningful friendships and by lying, you broke the rules. All your friends are fed up with your lies and fantasies and have given up on you because they can't trust you. Compulsive lying is a form of addictive behaviour and you need to learn that you can live a good, exciting, enriched life and be a success socially without resorting to lying. Go see your family doctor and tell him upfront and honestly, what your problem is. It's quite clear that you need some good counselling and I hope your doc will be able to refer you to some good counselor who can get you back on track. I wish you the best of luck, dear. Seek self-respect-always tell the truth! Take Care
Hugs, Irish
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reader, communicatrix +, writes (19 September 2005):
 I did some quick research on chronic or compulsive lying after reading your question and a couple of things jumped out at me.
First, chronic lying isn't recognized as a type of mental illness in and of itself (it's not listed in the DSM-IV, the manual used by mental health care professionals in diagnosing and treating the various types of mental illness). Instead it's viewed as symptomatic of some underlying condition.
Second, there are a variety of things that could be underlying this compulsion to lie. I think it's important to figure out what about you isn't getting "fed" that you feel the need to lie.
So instead of making yourself crazy with your vicious cycle of lying, perhaps you could turn some of your time and attention to researching compulsive lying and thinking about which reason(s) most likely apply to you.
Please note that I am not a doctor or mental health care professional, and am just making suggestions based on my own knowledge and experience. It might behoove you to seek out professional help; perhaps part of your research could involve you looking up forms of treatment and/or therapists who deal with this specific issue.
Good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, missdee +, writes (19 September 2005):
Most people will probably tell you to get some counciling, which would probably help, however opening a Bible and reading some passages from it about what God says about lying would help more.
The only thing you can do now is apologize to your friends and hope that they will forgive you. Try things to help yourself like when you start to speak as yourself is this the truth or a lie. If it is a lie then don't say it. If you say a lie and then realize you said it, immediately correct yourself. With God's help you will be better and have back your old friends and some new ones soon.
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