A
male
age
30-35,
*ensativeguy010
writes:i met this girl through my cousin, we started talking and stuff, and finally she asked me one fri night to come out and bowl and have a drink with her since my plans fell through. so i did and we had A LOT of fun, we danced, flirted, and at the end of the night we even kissed, now we talk just as much, and flirt still maybe even a little more. but my cousin likes to keep my filled in on some stuff, so she told me that this girl thinks im super sweet and cute, and she just loves talking to me but doesnt want a relationship right now. but i know shes interested in me. So my cousin advised me to just take it super slow and in a couple months she will probably be ready. the only problem is when taking it slow...should i not like try and hold her hand when we hang out or kiss her or anything? just act like a friend, or should i be just a tad bit intimate with her? i was flirting with her yesterday and told her that i had to help get a car unstuck in the snow and that my hands were freezing so she should come hold my hand and warm them up, and she actually replied "i would like to hold your hand :)". idk im just so confused on how to take things slow, im not used to it, ive gotten some insight from an elderly co-worker and he said that even though she doesnt want to date that doesnt mean holding hands or kissing a lil bit is wrong. what do you guys think?
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male
reader, Sensativeguy010 +, writes (9 February 2011):
Sensativeguy010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Dirtball, i think you give really good advice so i would like your further insight on this girl. last friday night she got tipsy and was txting me, and we ended up flirting a bunch and i gave her some rly good compliments which made her happy, but when she went to bed she said shed txt me the next day. Well, the next day came and i didnt hear from her at all. So at 11:30 my cousin txtd me saying that she hung out with that girl but it was at her Ex's...so i thought she wasnt ready to move on from her ex and wanted to get back with him. so 2 days later my cousin told me she has been talking to her and came to find out that she doesnt know whats goin on between her and her ex and that she hasnt txtd me because she said if i was interested in talking to her then i would txt her, and she told me cousin that if we were to start something like a relationship that she feels like she would fuck it up cuz im to nice and sweet for her. but she thinks im rly cute, and she digs me. so what should i do about this?
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Good plan!
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A
male
reader, Sensativeguy010 +, writes (3 February 2011):
Sensativeguy010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell idk about kissing, because she was a little tipsy when it happened but it didn't seem to bother her the next day when it got brought up, and we actually haven't held hands yet, she just said she would in that particular instance. so i guess ill just start off by letting her lead like you said and go from there, and if it feels right take the opportunity and give her a small kiss or hold her hand.
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A
male
reader, Leodjoneluv +, writes (3 February 2011):
 yea take it slow, enjoy the ride. take it slow and have fun. Hold her hand and give her a big hug everytime that you first see her. Sex will always be there but focus on being the best friend to and with her. Friendship will always streghten the relationship
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (3 February 2011):
Still no reason you can't keep going like you are. Just don't push to define what you have yet and enjoy the ride.
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A
male
reader, Sensativeguy010 +, writes (3 February 2011):
Sensativeguy010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso, I had forgotten to mention the reason she doesn't want a relationship at this time is becuase she just got out of one a month prior.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (3 February 2011):
Taking it slowly doesn't mean moving backward. It means enjoy what you have right now and take baby steps forward. You've already kissed, so that's still in. You've held hands, so that's ok. Basically, keep doing what you're doing and do what feels natural. Maybe let her take the lead a little and enjoy the ride.
It wouldn't be out of line to tell her you like her, but want to take things at a pace she's comfortable with. That might be a good way to get some feedback from her directly about what she wants.
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