A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, I've been fretting over this for a few days or so, and would like some second opinions. I met this wonderful girl last November. At first glance, I was lovestruck (er, I suppose infatuated is a more accurate term given my age, but I'll stick with lovestruck). We bcame good friends, and I figured that it'd be more sensible to not pursue anything further than friendship, as I found it highly unlikely that she'd feel that way about me (I consider myself to be a bit eccentric, and quite outspoken about it), and why risk botching a friendship? Here's what's got me beat: recently, to my surprise, she began to behave in this kind, wonderful manner towards me, and often in our conversations, there would be the occational pause wherein we just stared at each other, and she took every oppertunity to get rather close to me, to my great pleasure. I became certain that she did indeed feel the same way about me as I her, and I've been trying to convey just such a message, while keeping in mind not being too rushed. But most recently, this confidence has vanished, and I find myself unable to recall specific incidents which lead me to believe that she liked me. And I have become very afraid that I was only seeing things as I wanted to. I haven't been able to speak with her alone as before very recently, therefore the pleasing interactions haven't occured most recently - the initial cause of my worrying.So, now that you've suffered through my rambling;Am I just overthinking the matter? Am I being too 'head-over-heals'?(On that note, if I seem too obvious about it, will she loose interest? - that seems to be a commonly mentioned steriotype in the dating world)What's the best way to go about trying to start something more intimate than friendship with her?What should I do?I never thought a nut like me would come this close to a relatiohsip in high school, and I'd really hate to let this oppertunity (if it does exist) pass me by. A prehemtive thank you for your time and consideration.
View related questions:
confidence Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Hello, I'm the fellow who originally posted the question, and I wanted to thank the both of you for your responces. They've been very reassuring and helpful. I really am quite certain about it now, so I just have to find an oppertunity to invite her on a walk to the park, or something to that effect. Thanks again!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): Oh man. This reminds me of first semester. I liked this shy band geek and tried to make him understand that. Apparently, it didn't work so well because when I asked him out, he was taken by surprise and his answer was: I don't know...alright, I guess...but probably not, I fuck up a lot.
Now my story is done and I say to you, go for it, but be polite and kind. Spend time with her alone, let her KNOW that you're interested and want to spend one with her. Once you start paying more attenion, you'll notice little details in her behavior that let you know she likes you. No, the dreamy smile and fiddling with her hair or whatever are not overanalyzing because girls DO THAT. Most guys don't pick up on it and then girls get frustrated when they don't notice the hints they are giving them. Trust your instincts and good luck!!!
(The worst thing is that you're rejected. There's always someone else, you'd be surprised. YOU WILL SURVIVE! :))
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): Oh,
And I also wanted to say good luck. You sound like a very lucky man. Don't doubt yourself!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): With so many of the problems that pop up on this site, it's nice to read a queston with good news.
Are you overthinking the matter?
When you doubt yourself, yes. Right now you just seemed paralyzed by your own luck.
Are you being too head over heels?
No. Not enough people wait to form a friendship. You did and that speaks volumes about your maturity. And definitely wants you. She is just waiting for you to make a move.
If I seem too obvious about it, will she loose interest?
If you mean "obvious" in that you send her an over-dramatic love letter, perhaps that would be a bit of a turn off.
How do you upgrade the intimacy?
Spend more time alone with her. When you have the opportunity and the moment is right make a move. This doesn't mean you have to shove your tongue down her throat. Even a peck, a little kiss will do, or a touch will do. It tells her enough. It will encourage her and she might initiate the next time round.
...............................
|
