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anonymous
writes: My husband has a real good friend for a while now. The friendship is even closer that we moved back to town. He confides with this person about our marital problems. My issue is his good friend is homosexual. It's a little uncomfortable for me to think what can happen in this friendly relationship. I think his friend likes him a little more than a friend but I have no proof...I tease my husband about his friend secret love for him and he says that's crazy...I don't know what to think.I don't know if I should think his friend is like a girl who may have sexual intentions or like a guy friend- a buddy... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2006): You and your hysband may have a fight and then make up and everything is fine, but the person (his gay friend) that hears about the fight may never get over it and may harbor ill feelings for you even after your husband is feeling wonderful about you again. A professional counselor is the only person who needs to know about marital problems.
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (8 June 2005):
 Let him know how you feel. And don't treat the problem like it's a joke. Because if you're just teasing your husband he will never know how serious this issue is to you. I don't think you should worry. Friends come in all shapes and sizes. I don't think someone's sexual preference should stand in the way of friendship. Ask your beau if he feels like his gay friend is interested in more than friendship. Is he flirting, being coy? If so, then maybe you and your husband need to sit down and have a serious discussion.
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reader, ourhearttoheart +, writes (26 May 2005):
Trust is the key here. If he has never given you any reason not to trust him, "Be happy he has a good friend". It is rare. Discussing your marital problems? If you are uncomfortable with this, communicate this to your man. Maybe you both can talk a wee bit more. Be open with him, not controling....
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reader, fechon +, writes (26 May 2005):
Just in any relationships, be it a guy friend or a girlfriend or a gay friend, what you are uncomfortable with should be communicated to him. In this relationships of partnership, you both need to understand each other's concerns and needs, and on the same token you should understand his needs. If you're smart, you will align this gay friend on your side and use him to find out more about your husband. But if you're not into tactics, then you can find out thru observations what your husband is needing from him that you're not giving him. After you settle his needs, then he can settle yours, like talking to him less or none at all if it bothers you to that point. Have yourselves a tolerance scale, and tell each other how much it bothers you on a scale of 10, 10 being intolerable and will eventually break up the goodness and closeness you share, etc. Hope that helps.
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