A
male
age
36-40,
*cm
writes:I have no problem getting erections while masterbating or anytime but when me and my girlfriend are getting into it and my clothes come off i tense up and loose my erection! what should I do??
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (20 November 2007):
As they've all said it's really in the mind and not inn the penis.Easier said than done but try to prolong foreplay and let your woman help you by stroking it for you.It helps alot.Try to relax as much as possible.It has happened to me too.Over excitement and fear are also common causes.Best of luck next time.
A
male
reader, bcm +, writes (20 November 2007):
bcm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks alot appreciate it!!
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A
male
reader, Dustin587  +, writes (20 November 2007):
 Chances are, you are feeling nervous - it's purely psychological. I have the same problem - no problems masturbating, but sex is very difficult. If you look around this site, you'll notice many other men have this problem, so you are not alone. Here's two links to some other similar topics I have found:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-first-time-and-i-cant-keep-it.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-keep-losing-my-erection-mix-sex-why.html
In both of these topics, an individual suffered erection-related problems. Again, you are not alone in this problem. Some of the other users have told me to go to a sexologist. Also, depression supposively causes sex-related problems, so a psychologist is always an option if you feel you are depressed. I try not to recommend going to a "shrink" since it has such a negative connotation, but I feel it's necessary to mention that as an option. I am sure you can find some more useful info in the two topics I listed - the users that posed gave some good info :).
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, Blooregard +, writes (19 November 2007):
It sounds like nerves, I'm the same with my boyfriend (I'm female) and I just freeze and can't get into it sometimes. It's easy to say "don't put pressure on yourself" but during the actual act, a sort of panic attack happens and nothing can get you back in the mood, I know how difficult this can be.
My advice is to not put a time limit on it. Don't think "I MUST be erect by this time" that triples the pressure. If you have a good girlfriend, she will understand you wanting to take things slowly so that you can gradually get in the mood for it. Another thing, when maturbating, you feel less self concious because you are not trying to please anybody and are totally in private. That is what makes me think is is your self-conciousness taking over.
I hope this helps...
xxxx
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