A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:This is the situation. My ex broke up with me and I was devastated. I tried to get her back and she said she didn't want a relationship right now as she didn't trust me. So in my mind and heart I let her go. Since I let her go and live the life she said she so wanted, she calls me a lot more and she texts me every morning saying "Goodmornin babe". I don't know if by me moving on its totally pushing her away because I still love her but for my own well being I had to move on with my life without her. Am I wrong for my actions? We couldn't be friends because she wanted to hold hands and kiss and such and I didn't feel that was the behavior of friends and I had to stop being around her because it was confusing and she had no excuse for it. Anyway, why is she all of a sudden calling and texting so much when before when I was trying to get her back she could care less? What is she thinking?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): She doesnt want to lose you from her life. Im going through some what of the same thing. She is doing this because she knows if she wants she can get you back. Dont fall for it unless she is totally worth it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006): Who knows what she is thinking and why should you care?
She dumped you. She didn't stick around to work on the relationship and this should tell you she doesn't want it.
I agree with male reader anonymous...cut her out of her life as you do not need the greif of mind games.
She doesn't know how to express her feelings healthily.
Let her regret.
Think she has changed? Probably not.
I wouldn't even give her the chance to prove she has.
Move on.
Find that someone who knows what they want and expect in another and who is willing to commit and work on a good relationship.
Best of wishes Mate.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006): Get a clear answer on whether she wants to come back or not.If she answers ANYTHING but "Yes", tell her to leave youalone. For life.Life is too brief to waste it in mind games.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006): Sounds like she's messing you about because she's confused and doesn't know what she wants herself! This is a typical scenario that i am guilty of and have been the victim of myself! The grass always looks greener on the other side! Maybe now there's a little distance between you, perhaps she finds it easier to be more friendly. Relationships often bring up other deeper stuff and issues, which is why they get more complicated, and its often easier and better to start with some distance between you.Your priority is yourself and your sanity, not this girl. Have it out with her and get a proper answer as to what she wants, and ask her what type of relationship she wants. If she can't give you a proper answer, or carries on messing you about, i would leave her to it. A good relationship isn't about causing confusion, it's about clarity and knowing what each other wants and needs and respecting that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006): No matter how bad she can forgive you.
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A
female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (9 August 2006):
 Yep, badbrit has laid out some good perpectives. I think you are in a good position to lay your cards on the table (if you still want her back) and say how you feel and express your concerns. You have nothing to lose so appear strong and confident so you are in control.
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A
male
reader, badbrit +, writes (9 August 2006):
She is doing one of a few things, she may be unsure of feelings, kinda wants to go it alone, kinda doesnt, so cant let go.OR she may be regretting letting you go and wants you backor she may be enjoying control, likes to manipulate and control u even though she not with youor she may not want you anymore but doesnt want anyone else to have youor she may be keeping you in reserve, she wants her cake and she wants to eat it. Wants to be single, do what she wants, but if it doesnt work out, she wants you as a fall back.My advice is to find out what she is upto, ask her if she wants to get back together (if that is what you want) or not. If she says no, then ask her to stop contacting you like this because you havent room for her in your life anymore then, and dont want her getting in the way of you meeting someone else.Sometimes you dont think you want someone until you suddenly realise that maybe it not down to you, and then you scramble around trying to get them back. Maybe this is what she is doing, maybe it took you moving on for her to realise, "damn, i do want this guy"
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