| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Why do I keep doing this? Whenever I am with someone for a long time, I develop a deep relationship with them but whenever time comes to move on due to my career demands or something else I tend to forget my relationship and start avoiding the people as if I do not want to continue having a relationship with them anymore. I have trouble having a continuous long term relationship with someone. I am also a kind of free spirited guy who doesn't like to get tied up to one thing. I am 24 right now and I am worried about my future in terms of sustaining healthy relationships with people. What's wrong with me?
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Kay-the-Cloud +, writes (17 October 2005):
Like Irish said. You're thinking more about your career which shows you want to have a good life. Who ever said that you have to have a relationship to be happy in life? And I'm pretty positive that you'll find someone right for you when you are ready. Good Luck to you!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2005): There is nothing wrong with you. You are only 24 years old and you have so much of your life ahead of you and it sounds like your job & career are taking precedence, right now. It also seems the problem could be-you're dating the wrong type of women. Perhaps ones that may have some quality that you find initially attractive, but ones whose charms are quickly eroded after spending time with them. Maybe you need to step back, take a look at what you're 'still' longing for in a woman, at the END of these relationships – not what you're lusting for at the beginning. Take stock of those values, and seek those qualities in the next person you date. Another problem could be-you've seem to have convinced yourself you can't commit and this is jinxing you at the outset of every relationship. I would bet that you actually DO have the capacity to commit, but you've found yourself so unfulfilled in relationships past that you are starting to think that it actually is a problem with you. Thinking that the grass is greener is a very common thought, even among perfectly happy guys. It's when thoughts like those take such prominence in your mind that you begin to get really antsy that you should probably take heed of that voice, and realize that it's your instincts trying to tell you that this relationship just isn't "it." I think there is nothing wrong with you. You are simply trying to find the right girl for you.
So..no, you're not afraid to commit, you're simply not willing to settle for just anybody. In the future, if a girl ever asks you if you're looking for something serious, tell her that you're not willing to simply settle for just anybody. It'll kill a few birds with one stone: it'll be an honest response, but not one that is discouraging; and, it will remove the burden you place upon yourself to make up your mind about someone so quickly, and allow you to simply immerse yourself in the wonderful process of getting to know someone else. Give yourself time to grow, have some fun being a single guy and see what the future brings. You sound like a caring man who is working on himself. ...so stay strong, confident, and focus on your career and yourself. Have more confidence in your ability to sustain loving relationships, the right woman will show up. Take care
Hugs,
Irish
...............................
A
reader, helpfull girl +, writes (29 September 2005):
nothings wrong with you maybe your just not ready to commite at the moment, as you say you have a career consontrate on that for the moment and after try again! maybe its just that you want to get your career out of the way first! in time you will find that you'll be able to commite once you have the time to! its that or may be the girls you have met arnt your kind of girls you do really want to meet! its really just time you have to wait on thats all trust me time will bring you the girl you can indeed be commited to. i know blokes that are 36 up wards and are still single because they arnt commited enough at least your only 24 by the time you reach 36 your be a commited person with a family.
...............................
|
