A
male
age
30-35,
*jNinja
writes:Hey there dearcupid girls. Hope your having a great time right now and being prepared for the holidays. Anyway, I just have one question. Why is it that like I'm treating girls so nice that they won't be my girlfriend or like me more then just friends. I'm being myself and everything. Basically, what I'm trying to say is, "Why do Nice Guys Finish Last?"It would be appreciated on what you say and I'll respect it. =) Anyway, happy holidays/christmas! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (17 December 2012):
 Listen to red up there. Excellent advice.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2012): The trick is that many so called "nice" guy differ only from bad boys in how they want to gather their harem. Bad boys think all women should fall for them if they treat them bad. "nice" guys seem to think that all women should fall for them because they are "nice". And that ain't nice at all.For real nice guys, there are plenty of nice girls around. They are just a bit harder to find because they do no go to meat markets to be picked up by the first guy to give them the time of day or a drink.Nice girls are busy with their own thing and will not spend all their time looking for a guy but wait until they see someone they think is worth their time. And that is not purely about being nice but what they consider being nice which is NOT being a female with a penis but rather a man who isn't only interested in himself.Remember, the whole pre-dating routine is all part of weeding out the crazy, insane and weird. If a woman prefers men who treat her badly over a male friend who she enjoys being around... well consider yourself lucky! You escaped from a crazy woman, it is one thing to be friends with them, another thing to be in a relationship with person who keeps kicking the same stone.Real nice guys go for A (one) nice girl. She is out there, usually trying to comfort a female friend while thinking "why the hell do you keep falling for these asshole losers".
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A
female
reader, blow  +, writes (17 December 2012):
 I think that most of the time, nice guys finish last because nice guys almost always seem to be too shy to put themselves in front of the girl and straight-up say "I can treat you well, we work well with each other, let's give it a shot." Girls admire confidence more than anything. The 'bad-boy' isn't always the boy we want- but it's the boy who comes up to the plate that gets the first try.If you are a nice guy, try adding an assertiveness to yourself. Walk with confidence, and be confident! Confidence is SO attractive. But when you sit on the leyline of the so-called 'friend-zone', you will probably stay there!Cheers and happy holidays!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2012): I do not agree with that. I like nice guys. What I don't like is guys who are too shy to tell me how they feel and what they want. Guys who hide behind the nice guys finish last thing are just too shy.
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A
female
reader, Red591 +, writes (17 December 2012):
 OH WOW can I help you out. I currently suffer from being attracted to the guys all the girls want. I hate it but it is what it is. You might wonder what attracts them so much. It is very simple and very stupid. People want what either A-they can't have, B-everyone else wants, C-what doesn't seem to want them, or D-the person that will treat them right (I wish I was D)Now it is very easy to appear to be like this. If you like a girl, act very confident. Act as if you could care less if she would want to date you or not. This seems like a game but its just psychology. Don't be rude and don't act uninterested but definately act somewhat aloof and that if she rejected you, it would not ruin your dance card.The best way to be this way is find out what makes you confident without anyone by your side. Go out with friends, join a hiking group, something that ads more pull on your time which makes your time more valuable. A lot of these groups that hike, mountain climb, or work out can provide a great place to meet people without the pressure of having to date them. When you are around more people, your social skills improve. Also working out or learning how to fight or something like that will massively boost your confidence. Have you ever looked at a guy and noticed that he looked like a truck hit him but he can get any girl he wants? CONFIDENCE! he doesn't care how he looks or if she will reject him or not. He has passion in life (career or hobby) which mean he has something that makes him happy that will never go away and it makes him more attractive. Now if you can gain this level of confidence that it would be great because you would be attractive to women and have the balance of confidence without being a player or a jerk. Search the internet for other ways to gain confidence and how to attract women. There is some amazing advise. Most of them will tell you to hit on girls in clubs until you get rejected so many times that you don't care and almost find it funny. Your approach will improve and your care for the outcome will dwindle and oddly enough it will make you appear More attractive. I had a guy tell me come up to me and say the he wanted to tell me that he thought HIS eyes were beautiful. I laughed and talked to him. He seemed funny and confident and it wasn't someone i would have ordinarily been attracted to.Another point I want to make is this: Being nice, buying gifts, being the shoulder to cry on does not win someone's heart. It makes them want to gag. They feel suffocated and lose respect for you. Once respect is gone, you are gone. If a woman rejects you as a potential mate then do the same to her. You can be her friend and tell her all about the hot girl you are dreaming about at the gym. This will get her attention a lot better than offering her generosity. I know it seems stupid. I have been guilty of trying to take care of someone thinking that it would make them love me. It doesn't. It is not NICE guys that finish last, it is DOORMATS that finish last. You can be nice without being a doormat. Confidence and knowing when to bail on something is key. I may have been recently crushed by something but I won't chase him, or ask him why he stopped contacting me, and if he comes back I also won't ask why he left but it would take serious apologizing and observed changes in him to take him back and even then i'm not sure that i would. You have to learn to be happy and love yourself without anyone else in your life. Sometimes the dating world is a bit of a game. I can certainly tell you what works on women...now if someone would tell me what works on the alpha males, I would greatly appreciate it ha ha
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