A
female
age
30-35,
*ss18
writes:this is probably going to be a long one. im so lost. i feel like im going out of my mind. i really need some advice from someone else on what to do stay with him and deal with it or leave or better yet how to fix it.first off some background on us. Iv been dating my boyfriend for 3 years this month. were kind of engaged but its not to serious, we dont have a date planned for our wedding or anything. He is 3 years older than me and we dont live together. he really wants to move in with me but i feel like im not quite ready for all that.So our problems began very early. the third month of our relationship. he was talking to an ex girlfriend on myspace asking her to give him head. i was furious. so i broke up with him. obviously we got back together and many many times i wish we didnt. so this other girl stuff continued for months. he would never physically do anything but he was always talking to someone new just on myspace. it was rediculous. and being a fool in love for the first time i kept taking him back. Finally while we were on vacation at the beach he came completely clean and we talked about everything. it was a very emotional night and i spent most of it crying my eyes out. he told me he really meant it that he was done with it all and only wanted me blah blah blah. i believed him and when we got back he gave me an engagement ring. i was incredibly happy. then it all got ruined 2 months later, we had a fight about something and broke up. he then decided in the same night to go to another girls house!!! i knew something was up and called and called him. the next day or late that night he told what he did. he went there watched a movie and made out. yeah right. then when i didnt believe him i went to her, and she said he tried to ahve sex with her several times and they made out and touched or whatever. he then goes on to tell me that it doesnt count as cheating and he wants me back. well you guessed it i went back. and yes i know how dumb i was.i can actually gladly say that no other girl incidents have happened since but a whole new array of problems have. i feel like our whole relationship is one big problem. and im the younger one here but he acts like a twelve year old to me. hes the one who did all the stuff with other girls, but yet he doesnt trust me at all. if i dont answer i get a million calls. if a guy i know says hey to me he flips. if i dont say i love you he gets mad. if i dont kiss like a hundred times a day he literally pouts about it. not to mention lately he has been picking on me non stop. and its really hatefull stuff. and he says ohh im just kidding, but i still dont like it. then when iv had enough for the day of all this crap, and i get mad and hatefull to him he says im being a bitch and all i do is bitch at him. if he wouldnt act this way i wouldnt be mean. i ask him constantly please stop please stop but he NEVER does. i just want to pull my hair out. he thinks he never does anything right and i think i never do anything right. we fight allll the time. and im not saying he has caused all our issues. ill be the first to admit iv been wrong many times also but not like he has. the main thing i have done that kills him is that i went to a movie with a guy friend that iv known for 6 years. it was in the daytime. it wasnt a date at all. this made my boyfriend flip. he thinks im constantly going to leave him now.all this stuff doesnt even skim the surface of everything. there is so much more but who wants to read that? probably no one. well to get back to te point and the question, what should i do? do we have too many problems to fix them? is there any hope?id love it more than anything to work it all out and be happy, because even with all the bad mentioned, we have had some great times to. when were happy were amazing and everything feels so right. but can it be right if theres so much bad and fighting?sorry for making it so long. just needed to get some of it out.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Hi Hunny
It sounds to me as if all his behavior at the beginning of your relationship is now affecting the here and now. Because he was flirting and talking with other girls and making out so on he feels insecure as if he is capable of doing that in his mind so are you that is where the insecure feelings come from I believe anyway...
His jealousy of your friend just prooves that.. If you had trust then he would feel comfortable rather than threatened, He is phoning you wanting kisses and total attention, That screams out insecure..He gets pissed off and nasty with you and you just cant deal with it so ends up being snappy and bitchy back and its a nasty little circle going on hunny...You going to a movie with a mate is no big deal to you as you no it was as friends..He cant get his head around this as he has done things with other girls and feels you may try and get him back so he is paranoid. (when I say doing things with other girls I also mean talking and flirting as well as making out with that girl)
You 2 need to really have a good talk about everything, Or this is not going to get any better..Trust in a relationship is most important and he needs to be able to trust you..If you can sort this problem out and its not going to happen over night then I think you will have a far better relationship...
http://www.yourromanceguide.com/articles/relationships/trust-in-your-relationship.php
Ive popped in this link hunny I hope it helps..If you need to talk more write again and I'll try and help take care with love MANDY XXX
A
female
reader, smiley_1  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Hello,I believe its time you end this relationship. He is very disrespectful to you. Picks on you, cheats on you. Then he has the nerve not to trust you because he's guilty and trying to reverse this on you. You deserve someone who loves you, respects you as a person someone who's faithful to you. Move on...Good luck;D
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