A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A college friend of mine has been acting a bit weird lately. Whenever I or our friends come to hang out, he tends to go off on his own. We usually hang out quite a bit, but now he just seems like he's avoiding me and our friends. I had a feeling that he was interested in me, but now I am not so sure. I'm worried about him. There are times where he'll stick around, but now he usually just says he's going for a walk or something. I tried asking him if there's anything going on, but he says nothing is wrong. His roommate says he doesn't know cause he doesn't seem different when it's just them in the room. I kind of want to spend more time with him since he's graduating soon, but I can't. I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): Sometimes asking someone flat out whats wrong, doesnt work. They need to be eased into talking about problems. If your instincts tell you something is wrong but hes a little reserved. He might need some coaxing. So plan a time when you can have a few uninterrupted hours with him and be a true friend. Say youve noticed a change in him. Tell him you care about him and want to know whats up. Be open to the fact that he might resist at first and be prepared to hear anything. Because whatevers bothering him, might not necessarily be about you. It could be a minor problem. Ie Hes broke and cant afford to hang out. To a major problem like depression. So prompt him with a few well chosen questions. Reassure him that whatever he says is in complete confidence and mean it. Then listen to him properly and converse with him. If hes not very receptive, dont be surprised. He may want to think about sharing his problem first. Then seek you out later for a chat. Its often the case.
A
female
reader, heart-shaped-balloon +, writes (5 October 2010):
 He probably did have a thing for you and is trying to get over it. Seeing you is probably painful to him right now. Give him some time and space and see where that takes you.. I understand you don't have much time, but it's really what he needs right now.
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A
female
reader, xAx  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 a friend of mine likes to wonder off in parties. he says it's just something he does as he likes to be alone and think. he's reserved. this could be the same reason for you friend. it could also be that there is something bothering him. simply ask if he wants to go and get a coffee or something and somewhere in a comfortable atmosphere reassure him that you are there for him if he needs to talk.
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