A
female
age
30-35,
*PC11
writes:Okay so I feel ridiculous for saying this out loud because Men do not validate you and your life but I feel like something must be wrong with me. I don't think I'm that cute or pretty (I mean I might have an ok face but I don't really like my body) I have big boobs (that usually get in the way) medium height and blah blah blah... I pride myself on my personality. I am open and carefree and well fun and compassionate all in one. (well at least my mom says so ) I just don't know what's wrong with me... why I'm ALWAYS put in the friend zone or why people seem not to like me in the way. I mean I even asked my exe BF (who was also my best guy friend) and he said nothing was wrong with me... He even said I was beautiful... I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON... *sigh* Is there something wrong with me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (17 September 2009):
 Do you only seek out men that are too shy to make the first move?
Do you ask out the men you like, or just wait for them to make the first move?
Have you ever rejected a man's advances?
Do you have a reputation of rejected men's advances?
Have you ever hurt a man's reputation in front of other men that would make those other men not want to date you?
Do you ever speak negatively about sex?
Do you only ever talk bad about yourself in a way that evokes a man's fathering instinct, that would interfere with his lover instinct?
Some things to consider.
I wrote a book entitled The Eye of the Seductress about the emotional needs of men. You can read the free preview of it on my website, and maybe it might turn out you are violating the emotional needs of men that turns them off to you.
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
A
male
reader, HIROKI  +, writes (17 September 2009):
you are probably not looking in the right places. do you have a high standard/expectations?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): The Friend Zone is more of a problem that guys have when trying to get girls, than vice versa. Guys are usually more open to a girl moving from "friend" to "lover" in their life than girls are.
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A
female
reader, audie  +, writes (17 September 2009):
 i think the only problem you've got is your self image. if you dont like your own body it affects your self confidence and self worth. guys tend to pick up on that. i'm not sayin be cocky or egotistical. learn to love yourself in the body that God gave you and the right people will notice the difference and i'm pretty sure they'll become interested. xx
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (17 September 2009):
 It sounds like you're still looking for that special guy. From what you've written so far, you won't have to wait long.
I know self-image isn't the problem here, as you're right no man can validate you, until that time that you let the one guy that you want do that for you.
From a guy's perspective, though I'm older and therefore a little less foolish than my youth, I'd say you're a good catch if only you can find a young guy that'll spend a little more time paying attention to you.
By that I mean there's a few steps you can take to make yourself more appealing in "that" way, but it requires getting past trust issues, then getting around towards more acceptance issues (as in no-judgment zone stuff), and then of course more intimate talk and interaction.
However, at your age, its hard to keep that slow and interacting intimacy going. But when you do get it started, just get the guy to emotionally connect to you on deeper levels that's all. At some point, he'll be into you and then your biggest worry is telling him to cool it for 5 minutes so you can take a breather.
Just spend a little more time getting them to that point of emotional connection. Its a project if you have a guy who's easily distracted by other things. Focus is the key. That's all.
But taking your personality description, you sound attractive as is.
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