A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Has anyone got any experiences to share about getting over their first love/first relationship? My ex-boyfriend broke up with me in May last year. In some ways I feel that I've moved on, but recently I felt as if I still love him and will for a long while [I don't want to sound drippy and say I'll love him forever], even though I wouldn't want to be with him anymore. And I still think about him and still feel certain emotions like hurt and anger from certain things from when we were together, but also I feel love for him and I care about him and hope he's happy.He was my first boyfriend and my first love. To anyone who's experienced it: What's it like moving on from your first love? And when you moved on into other relationships, did you think "Why was I so hung up on him/her?"Just looking for experiences stories for people to share, to sort of help me through this and look to the future, if that makes sense. Thanks :)
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Thanks! Hope you have the same luck that I did! x x x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your interesting viewpoints and experiences. I guess going through a painful break-up is worth it if you learn something from it.
Congrats birdynumnums on your 38 years, you're very lucky :) .X
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): It's refreshing!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): It depends. In my experience, I broke up with my first love. After many things went wrong, I realized how wrong he was for me. However, it still hurt, like moving on from anyone that means a lot does. I loved him so much, I gave so much of my energy, heart, soul, and mind into the relationship, but it all worked to my disadvantage. Moving on hurt me even more than the bad parts of the relationship hurt me, but since I was the one who did the breaking up, it didn't take me too long to get over it. I was lucky to find an amazing guy just about four months later who turned out to be the guy I've been waiting for. Just know that moving on will hurt undoubtedly, but there is another out there who you will find. Don't waste your time thinking about him too much...just learn from the mistakes made on your part and his in the relationship and keep them from happening again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): Keep your head up and remember at any giving time the perfect guy could be right around the corner even if you don't think what you had with the ex can be beeten.
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male
reader, The Realist +, writes (20 January 2011):
 My first love lasted only three months but I have to say I would never want to fall for and marry the first girl girl that I ever dated. The first love hurt alot and at the time all it did was hurt me but as I got older I realized that I learned so much that I could take with me. All of my failed relationships have taught me about myself and made me who I am happy to be today.
I know it's tough but try to look at the positive, like what you have learned that you can take to a new relationship and that there are many other guys out there who will be good for you.
You'll always care for him but in time you will realize that the break up was a good thing.
Keep your head up and remember at any giving time the perfect guy could be right around the corner even if you don't think what you had with the ex can be beaten.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (20 January 2011):
BTW, make sure that you don't sequester yourself and sit and mope. Lots of good food, great friends a fresh air help when you are blue. Sending hugs. x x x
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (20 January 2011):
My first love was when I was 16. We were boyfriend and girlfriend for 6 months; even though we never went all the way in any fashion, emotionally - he was my first love. He was very good looking, a great athlete, a smart ass and a charming ladies man - his family wasn't well off and he was not ambitious (except for trying to get me to finally sleep with him, which never happened) and he wasn't terribly interested in the world around him or interested in getting ahead. I recall being a bit embarrassed when he didn't understand things that were discussed around the dinner table; politics and such. Still, I was head-over-heels in love with him.
I had a very flirtatious girlfriend who flirted with ever boy I went out with. One night; he seemed more interested in her advances than normal; not that he ever dated her - but later that evening her broke it off with me. I didn't sleep that night and cried for two days - my appetite was awful for the next month and 2 months later I was still heartsick. About 6 months later - I met a boy from one of the Universities in town. I was still feeling pretty rough about the breakup; but a friend asked me to go to a Uni dance with her. I had never given out my phone number to a stranger before - but I thought he was cute. He called me and asked me out thee days later and after a few dates - I wasn't thinking as much about the guy I had lost. He called me just to talk every day!
As a matter of fact - about a month later - we were at a dance and bumped into him. We had mutual friends who had told him I was dating a University boy who came from a well-off family and he drove a '69 Firebird - pretty splashy in those days! I guess my ex didn't like it - even though he drove a Cadillac - and when I went to introduce them - he pretended he was someone else to avoid us. Made me think that I had dodged a bullet by how he behaved, to say the least. He was there alone as well.
Can't say I ever looked back after that. Plus, when my lousy flirtatious girlfriend cornered my new boyfriend; batting her eyelashes and asking if her mascara was running - He told the bottle-blond with roots showing - "No, But your haircolour is!" He passed the test with flying colours - hahahaha!!! Well as juvenile as we were back in those days - we were only 17 at the time - we have grown up together and the relationship has lasted.
We'll have been together for 38 years in 2 days time!
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A
female
reader, kirra07 +, writes (20 January 2011):
I would say that over time you start to feel less of the hurt, and more like the relationship was an experience that you had and learned from. You look back with more fondness, sometimes with a little regret.
Moving on into other relationships, especially the first one after this one, I would say that you compare them to your first. You think about what you did differently or the same. And sometimes you might feel guilty about moving on and doing things with your new boyfriend. I thought a lot about my ex/first love when I first started dating someone new. But over time it faded and I fell in love again.
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