A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I got so know someone a while back. We met up fairly recently, but since then things have cooled (on this person's part, or so it seems to me). I've had everything - no credit, lots on, need space, etc. Problem is, it's got to the point where contact has become increasingly sporadic, to the point where important stuff in my life which I mention is going totally uncommented on - whereas I've been there for them. We still chat for lengthy periods from time to time, and there's never any awkward silences, but it's *always* at my instigation. This person was in a long term relationship until shortly before we met. I have good reason to believe that things are not entirely resolved between them, on whatever level. Problem is that I've fallen for this person and they occupy a lot of my waking thoughts - I just don't know what to do (it's a long-distance thing). Should I just cut my losses? Any feedback much appreciated. Thanks ;-) (am a guy).
View related questions:
period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, since my last post I discovered that this woman and her ex have, indeed, got back together and are sharing a flat. After a long period of no contact I confronted her. I no longer have feelings for her, but I have a lot of anger at being misled. Anyway, to my surprise she confessed everything and apologised for the fact I got caught up in everything. But it's not enough, for me - I grudgingly accepted her apology but told her how much of a coward she was. Apparently, she didn't want to lose me as a friend and hence didn't tell me they'd rekindled - things were going on for much of the period we were in touch. Problem is, after a drink or two I end up really hating her and what she has done to me - I find hr behaviour disgusting. Does anyone have any advice on how to put it to bed?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, anonymous. Problem is, I know exactly what you are saying about comms being the key to ltrs, but she is reducing it by inches to the point where it's a one-liner every week or so. Barely comments on what I've said/asked previously. Think it's dead in the water and I'm very loathe to make a fool of myself by looking desperate.
Sizzling1 - thanks :-). I'd say exactly the same as I did to anonymous though - losing the inclination even to try now. It's breaking my heart but I feel I have to let it go. After intensive contact for months, then a visit (me to her), things start to peter out. I wasn't born yesterday - for all that guys are expected to chase, there a limits and sometimes a girl has to deal with the ball in her court and not just be wet about it.
...............................
A
female
reader, sizzling1  +, writes (20 January 2011):
why don't you just ask her outright? the worst that could happen would be that you have to move on with your life. i know it's not easy but at least you will KNOW waht's going on.
...............................
A
male
reader, Kilcardy  +, writes (20 January 2011):
Really, it sounds as if you are in a imaginary relationship. She sounds preoccupied with someone else, while you are preoccupied with her in your mind. It's not so much a matter of cutting your losses as it is of moving on and living your life.
...............................
|
