A
female
age
30-35,
*torm08
writes:Hello, sorry this might be long but i need help!! i am in a relationship with my lesbian girlfriend and we are very happy together. My best friend is also a lesbian and is in a relationship with lets call her lisa, well when i first met lisa about 2 years ago we got along really well, and had a laugh, (my mate and her live far away so i didnt see them often.)a few days after that i got a text message, just asking if i was ok etc.. i found out that it was lisa, and asked how she got my number, she told me she took it from my mates phone. Anyway a few weeks after that they came over again and she started being slightly flirty with me with the words she was using, i started to feel uncomfortable and tried my hardest not to respond in a way where my mate would feel threatened, but to much dismay lisa text me that night saying my mate accused her of fancying me!!! So i asked her outright and she said she thought i was fit, i told her straight away that i wouldn't becuase of my mate. So she carried on texting as normal.. i saw them both as normal... and one night it came about, myself, my mate and lisa just started kissing one another. Drinking didnt help, but we put a stop to it before it got to far. after they left lisa text me saying my mate was having a go and quizzing her about kissing me, saying that lisa should of never rubbed her hand up and down my back and asking her if she enjoyed kissing me, so i text back saying what did you say? she said.. i told her i didnt enjoy it and it was just fun... but if i am honest to you, i did enjoy it and wish it went further!! well after all the accusations flying round i had enough and confronted my mate, and told her i wouldn't ever go behind her back cus she is my mate!! everything died down for months then all of a sudden they turned up at my door... again lisa was being flirty but i ignored it best i could, she never text me after that. But on new years she sent me a text saying happy new year etc.. so i asked how she was considering i hadn't spoken to her in ages... and the convo went on to me apoligising for not staying in touch with her, she replyed saying im sorry to i couldnt bare it... so i asked why and she said her feelings got too strong for me. then the following morning i sent a text saying well if i am honest i couldnt of ever done that to my mate, but at one point i did want you.. she replyed to me saying it werent ever to happen so i sent one back saying i know that!! Well i felt a little ridiculed as i never told lisa that before, and she blew me out like i was a joke or something. My girlfriend knows about all thats happened as i told her, i even told her during the rough patch we was having i started to get feelings towards lisa... but never took it anywhere becuase of my mate and becuase i wanted me and my partner to work through it.Anyway for some strange reason my mate hasn't replyed to any of my texts for over a year, and there is no point talking to her cus she wont answer the phone, or the door!! And i text lisa the other day just to ask if she was ok... and now she is ignoring me!!! what have i done? and why is she ignoring me?? is she taking me for a fool and someone to laugh at? please help...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Ok Lisa admitted that she developed strong feelings for you and that is why she lost contact, now you also told her you wanted her therefore im guessing she is ignoring you because she wants to make things work in her relationship and doesnt want the temptation. Am pretty sure its not that she is laughing at you she is just cutting the contact so that she can get over her feelings. Which is the best thing to do for her.
Now as for your mate not talking to you, well look at it from her point of view you told her girlfriend that there was a time were you wanted her and also her girlfriend was flirting with you, her friend then yes she is going to be feeling hurt and angry and anoyed. It could be possible that lisa has told her you were texting her and told her you had wanted her back then therefore your friend is probably hurting. Maybe you could text her a message and just simply say you are sorry if you hurt her and that you would never have done anything with lisa as you are her friend and you respect her to much to do something like that to her and then just leave it at that.
The best thing for you to do now is to concentrate on your own relationship and try and get them out of your mind. Move on from them and move on with your life. Goodluck.
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