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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hey i have to talk to someone or im either going to cry or scream or do something stupid.Argh so here goes.First off Im going to tell u the story of how 4 and a half months of my life get flushed down the toilet in a single weekend, my bf lives near london, we have an amazing relationship, and the past while has been amazing, and we talked about sorting out our jobs so that we lived closer to each other, ive never been in love before him and ive never trusted someone more ever. u cud stay stuff has been perfect up until last weekend:I went up to his on sunday afternoon, and he met me at the train station,We got bak to his, watched a film, had some dinner, did usual stuff then afterwards we were lying in bed together and he was cuddling me and he doesnt usually talk about his feelings very much but he had sed a few days before that he loved me and he would never do anything to hurt me.so we were in bed, and i turn round and he looks at me and says "you no i love you dont u honey" and i was like "yeah, i love u so much too" yadda yadda usual thing, then we fell asleep together like usual and it was really nice :(Then i woke up on monday and he was already up (which was weird n e way cos he never got up before i woke up) n e way its like there was a weird tension between us or something that is never usually there, like u no wen u bring a bloke home that u dont no and its reall awkward in the morning, well it was like that which is weird and confusing and stupid because we'd been together for ages!!Anyway i had to go bak into london for my job interview and when he said goodbye to me and the train station it was really weird. and it didnt feel right.Like he hugged me for ages and kissed me and wen i walked off through the barrier i started crying and i had no idea y because i was seeing him in a few hours!!i just thought it was me being all tired and emotional and probably nervous for the interview so i let it go.Anyway. did the job intervie and hated it and stuff. text him on the train bak telling him how bad the interview was and wat time i was going to be bak at the station.(i had 2 hours to wait at the station before getting my train home so he had sed he'd wait for me and stuff)so i got to the station and he wasnt there, so i waited and waited and he didnt turn up.he didnt text me he didnt fone me. so i feel pathetic for tellin u this, but i sat outside the station on the floor, hoodie up and just cried for 2 hours until my train came and i went home. i cried all the way home think i scared a few fellow passengers lol) anywayi went to work on tuesday and i text him on tuesday nite nothing too serious just"hey honey, where wer u last nite? hope ur okay xxx" and he phoned me and went "fuck it" and hung up the fone, i was like waat?? i hear nothing from him and all he fucking does it change his status to "single" on my space and facebook.I mean wat the fuck, he's a 20 year old, and he cant even tel me our relationship is over?and now i dont no wot to do. its like its all over just like that. everything.and theres nothing i can do about it.i cant stop crying and i feel so stupid.i just wish he had given me a reason ya no?argh im sorry this is really long but i havent told n e one else, all my friends and my mum and everyone stil thinks im in my little happy relaionship, mainly cos i cnt face telling them otherwise (and that involves me admitting it to myself)the stupid thing was, i was sat at the station, and everytime i saw someone with converse on like he had on i looked up thinking it was him. how stupid am i.And here i am, not really knowing wat to doso my question is what the hell happened? was it me?Guys: what the hell is going on inside his head?what do i do now?please help.
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female
reader, cd206  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 Regarding your follow up. Please stop trying to work out what you did wrong because you haven't done anything. It's all too easy when we get dumped to blame ourselves but we shouldn't. Perhaps you did do something to make him end the relationship but if it was something so minute that you don't even know what it was, is he really someone you could be with? You'd have to watch every single little thing you say and do... If you have the strength confront him, if you don't, don't beat yourself up about it. It's a hard thing to do. But whatever you do, do not blame yourself for this. Some guys are just immature and not worth the time of day. I understand it must be a massive disappointment to find out a guy you loved is one of those people but in time you will find a way to understand, I promise.
CD
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): Hi darling,
you have done nothing wrong and it is him that has behaved appaulingly. Have you asked him what is his problem. If he does not answer you I think really you need to put this down to perhaps something which he has done and not prepared to tell you. It may be that he has someone else? Don't want to freak you out as I may be totally wrong. It just seems his behaviour has done a flip around for no good reason from your side.
I had a partner who always had silly rows, sometimes didn't talk etc, later I found out he was in another relationship. However it doesn't matter now it matters that you pick yourself up, go out and have a blast with you friends and talk about what a dick he was to not have the decency to let you know what was up.
Often we get ourselves into a reltionship or situation and we did absolutely nothing wrong but they have issues which they don't share, this is a failing on their part not yours. If he would behave like this for no apparent reason, think of how it would be if you were still together and you needed him, needed him to step up. He is not really showing you someone who would be their for you when it counts.
I have decided late in life to judge the ones worthy of spending time in my life based on how considerate and caring they are. If they don't give a shit, be with someone else and enjoy someone elses company, not mine.
Keep you pecker up and make some new plans. He should be more troubled by how he has treated you than you being worried about what you might or as it seems, might not have done. His problem. take care and keep us posted.
xxx
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A
female
reader, nailglitter18  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 A friend of mine was just put through this today... I don't understand how some men do that kind of thing!
be strong... But you do deserve to know why he ended it: you shouldn't be picking apart who you are. You're a great person. If there was something in you he didn't like, then that's HIS problem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much everyone who answered, it actually made me feel better reading some of them (might have made me cry a little too ahhhh!)But the main reason why I'm not knocking his door down is that I live 3 hours away from him and we worked really hard to do a long distance relationship, but I've decided a 3 hour train journey, or wasting petrol riding up on my motorbike isnt worth it. I just have this weird aching inside of me and I dont know what to doAnd as to possible rumours, I can't think of anything, mainly because he isn't the kind of guy to listen to gossip and also because we were in a long distance thing, none of us knew each others friends very well *shrug*I guess I must have done something wrong, the problem is, because I don't have an answer I'm trying to analyse what is wrong with me :(Thank you to everyone, please keep replying as it really is helping me so muchxxx
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A
female
reader, nailglitter18 +, writes (27 January 2008):
Forget texting. Forget phone calls. You need to see his face. Frankly, at this point, I wouldn't get sad, but really, really mad.
I would go to his house and knock on his door. Then, before I yelled at him like an idiot (err, yeah, I tend to do that), I would take a deeeeeppp breath. Once you're there, it's hard for him to hang up on you, you know? He can't make you go away so easily. Tell him that you don't want to force anything on him, but you deserve to know the truth- what's going on, and does he really want you gone?
Good luck, be tough... This life isn't easy, but you gotta fight for what you think is right.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 I sounds as if he'd been hurt in some way. Had you given him any reason to believe you haven't been faithful or truthful with him? Is there a friend you both know, who might feel they benefit by breaking up your relationship? When you were sleeping, do you have a cell phone you might have left out, which he get snoopy and found a past message that may lead him to believe your not being truthful or honest with him. Him saying f**k it, and hanging up tells me he was wanting to discuss something with you then decided no to spend the time doing so. Some guys do that because it's easier just to end it, than to know what the answer is. I'm not accusing you. This was just what I saw by your message. You have to admit, false information, or misleading information and rumors have broken up relationshps before.Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): Reading this it honestly blew me away! No wonder you are confused and don't know what is in his head.If it were me I would consider if there was something he may have heard about me or some funny gossip or situation which he has instantly reached on from the time all was 'normal' and now.But, I would tend to consider that texting him asking him to at least have the guts to tell you what his problem is.The way he has behaved is unacceptable in my opinion, however I still beleive you have the right to know what went wrong - if anything!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (27 January 2008):
No... don't you dare think it's you. This is all him being too gutless to talk to you and that's not on. Demand an explanation. Don't be softly softly about it. You deserve to know what suddenly changed even if it doesn't lead to you getting back together.Reading your question my hunch is that he did the classic boy thing and got scared because it was coming to the stage where he had to make a commitment to you but tht also doesn't ring true since god only knows he didnt have to tell you he loved you or offer to meet you at the station or any of those things.I think you need to accept that the relationship is over. This guy doesn't know what he wants or how good he had it. However, you also need closure. It's not unreasonable to demand an explanation here. Psych yourself up first and don't get upset though.You will be happy again even if it doesn't feel like it right now so hold on chick.CD
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