A
female
age
30-35,
*adedpearl
writes:I am turning 21 this year and the thought of having children anytime soon within the next 5 years sounds really unappealing to me. A lot of my high school friends are getting married and having children already. I just want to be free and single and date and mingle. I want to take care of myself and really do the things I've always wanted to do before settling down. I have never been able to buy myself things or do things for myself like go to a spa or get my nails done because I have been too busy worrying about others and getting them gifts and such. I don't even know if I really want kids at all. But, let's say I change my mind 15 years from know when I am in my mid thirties. I know the pros outweigh the cons but I would like to know from experience if anyone who has had a kid in their 20s and one in their 30s how different were their experiences? Did you like having a kid in your thirties? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (11 February 2013):
This is a medical question that you really need to ask a doctor about. There are implications for BOTH you (the mother) and your baby. Find a doctor who is aware of current research and findings on the subject because the known implications seem to be changing, as well as effective ways to deal with them.
My (baby-boomer) generation put off having kids. Many of us didn't start until our late 20's (my wife and I were 29) and quite a few didn't complete their families until after 40 (we were 38). Your generation seems to be having kids at a younger age - my 30 yr old daughter has 3 girls between 2 and 7, and has indicated that she doesn't expect any more.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (10 February 2013):
As you can see in the answers, 35 isn't a bad age at all to get kids. I myself consider 40 as the 'hmm, better watch it' age, but I think a lot of it also has to do with how you take care of yourself. So if you're being sloppy in that department, change that while you're still young. Eat well, do sports, don't put yourself under too much stress, etc. You'll get a lot of 'mileage' out of your body that way and you'll be energized.
...............................
A
female
reader, Kindpigeonette  +, writes (10 February 2013):
My mom had me at 43. The only downsides having to do with her age was that I grew up knowing I wouldn't have as many years with her as my peers. Even so, she is my best friend and a great mom.
...............................
A
female
reader, Beryl1167 +, writes (10 February 2013):
I have two children. One was born when I was 32 and the other when I was 37. I am now 45. They do consider 35 as a cut off age where things get more complicated but my OB sees so many pregnancies in that age range that I didn't feel like I had to be freaked out about it. They did do some extra testing but both my kids are fine. I don't feel old compared to other parents and I certainly have enough energy to do things with both my kids. My dad was 37 when I was born and he's always been very active in my life and he's still very active in my children's lives (at 82!) I think it's most important they YOU feel like you're ready, you've done the crazy single things you need to do and you're financially stable and ready to be a parent.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (10 February 2013):
 It's a good idea to wait if you're not ready. You are more likely to have a healthy child though if you do it before 35. After 35 you're still more likely to have a healthy child than not, but that's sort of the "cut-off" for when doctors say you have to worry more about complications.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2013): My parents had me at 35. No siblings because my mom had complications in her pregnancy and we both nearly died, technically I died twice but they revived me. I hated having an older mother especially as a teen she could hardly do anything with me except go out to dinner and watch tv. My dad in the other hand is great, but he doesnt act his age never has. I am 24 with two kids we've struggled a little financially but we are doing good now. Its hard enough doing this now I cant imagine if I were in my thirties but i have the energy to keep up.. I recommend having date nights occasionally. But ultimately do whats right for you. My moms friend had a daughter at 46 and shes turning 61 this year her daughter is 14 and she is great! Does things, is active, ect. But perhaps having kids is not for you or there are always other options: fostering/ adopting as well as waiting and having your own. Im glad i have mine now, but it works for me. Do what you feel you want.
...............................
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (10 February 2013):
I am 44. I am getting married for the first time this June and plan to have my first child shortly after.The advantages for me -1 - Waiting until I was more mature allowed me to wait to find just the right partner.2 - Waiting allowed me to get into a much more stable financial situation. At my current age, I busted my hump working 80+ hour work weeks for the last 20 years. I dont have to work all that much now for the rest of my life.3 - Along the lines of 2, I have already fulfilled most of my material needs. At this age, I already have my dream house and my dream car. The downsides?1 - You just have more energy at age 24 than 44. That said, I dont have to work nearly as much at 44 as I did at 24, so I can focus my time more on my newborn child.2 - My parents are also older now, and have the same energy limitations, just moreso.I think its wise to wait if you can, but you must keep yourself in good shape both financially and physically if you want it to really pay off for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2013): Prevalence of sub fertility and complications in pregnancy drastically increase at 35. This includes Down syndrome and miscarriage. Consider having children from 28 - 30 years and onwards.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2013): Fertility and complications in pregnancy begin at 35. Consider having children from 28 - 30 years and onwards.
...............................
|
