A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so there's this guy I really like. He's got a girlfriend, but I know her quite well (she's actually one of my good friends) and she's not happy with the relationship. She feels that they're moving way too fast, and stuff like that. She wants to break up with him but doesn't know how. So anyway, does this give me the right to flirt with him? And if yes, what would be a non-creepy way to get his number?
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male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (14 December 2011):
Maybe I'm missing some sort of unwritten female code, but if she's a good friend of yours and is seriously going to end the relationship, would there really be a harm in asking her about it?
Just say if she doesn't want to be with him, that maybe you'd like to get to know him better and see if you could get his number.
Of course, this could instill jealousy and make her want him again. That seems to happen.
Either way, in the end, your best bet is always honesty, even if some aren't mature enough to handle it.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 December 2011):
 Why don't you simply talk to your (girl) friend and ask her if she'd agree to pass along this (her) boyfriend to you??? Stranger things have happened.....
Good luck......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2011): Why would you want to risk a friendship, this girl has confided in you about the relationship - I would advise her to set him free, fast, if thats what she really wants.
He sounds very much into her so I doubt he will want anyone else, but if he were to ask you out immediately, it would probably be to spite her or a rebound thing.
Leave well alone, for a long time. Then maybe in the future you might have the opportunity, but now is not a good idea.
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A
female
reader, bluecow  +, writes (14 December 2011):
 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - that clear enough?
She is a friend of yours and you are planning to flirt with her boyfriend.
Regardless of whether the relationship is in trouble or not, does not give you the right to flirt.
As soon as he is single (after speaking to your friend to check its not going to f-up your friendship).... then he is fair game. Until then leave out the flirting.
Totally agree with prev poster that not flirting doesnt mean you cant get his number... but just as friends for now.
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A
male
reader, stateside +, writes (14 December 2011):
Setting a side the "friend" code, do you know any of his close friends? Try to get into his group and hang out. Guys are bad at making plans so get some stuff going like mall trips, sports activities, lunch, etc.
More important: What ever you want this guy to know about you, tell you girlfriend. Dates will usually talk about their friends when nothing else comes up. Use some talk that makes you sound interesting or maybe something that her boyfriend is in to.
It doesn't really give you a right to flirt with him and expect your girlfriend to turn on you, dating or not.
No young teenager boy is going to call you creepy for wanting his number but I would use that as a last resort. If you call him, he's going to think that he can do whatever.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2011): First off, put yourself in her shoes. If you were happy with a relationship with your boyfriend, would you still want it to end with him flirting with a good friend? No. If anything, you'd be hurt. Girl code is a serious thing. It needs to be respected. Do not date a friends ex if your friend was dumped by the person you wanna date. If your friend dumps the person you wanna date, give it awhile before you begin talking with him, and make sure your friend is okay with it. A friendship is more important than a relationship with a boy. Also, if she thinks they are moving too fast, why would you want that? you may feel the same way, if you dated him. Give it time, and if they break up, ask her if its okay first. Start a convo with him on fbook, or in person, and maybe pull your phone out. Mybe bring up the topic "Oh geezuss, everyone is such a boring texter.." and then he may say that hes not boring, or something along those lines, and then you can ask for him number.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2011): No it doesn;t give you the right to flirt with him just because she isn;t happy in the relationship, because they are still going out. Before doing anything you should wait until they have broken up, and then you should talk to her before about liking him before making a move of any kind. You don't want to lose a friend over a boy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2011): Unless you want this girl to.hate you I recommend not flirting with him until they are officially thru. I'm guessing from what you say out won't be long, so just sit tight ! Also don't jump on him as soon as they break up, it could also damage your friendship with her. as for getting his number, maybe try to get him to ask you for yours, much more subtle. Say things like we should hang out sometime outside of school ot somethin
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