A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I was engaged 5 years back, and he got me a diamond engagement ring. Things didn't go well and we split up, but I kept the ring when we moved apart. We did have a small discussion about it, but he said he wanted to wear it and I didn't like the idea of him actually wearing the ring... So I ended up having it, and I still have it! I was thinking, what should I do with it? Me and my ex-fiancee are not in contact with each other any longer, and after 5 years wouldn't it be weird to give it back? I mean what's he supposed to do with it? I was thinking of selling it to a jewelry store, but it wouldn't be worth half as much after they melt it. Plus, even if I did sell it, should I give the money to him, or 50% of the money to him?Tricky question. I don't want to be disrespectful in a way you know. Nor do I want to bring back up to the surface old memories and pain, and knocking on his door one day after 5 years of no contact, with the ring, might just be too... weird? PS. the ring is gold with a small diamond, it cost about 400 dollars when he bought it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): Thanks, if I follow that logic I feel like keeping the cash myself, although I was the one who ended the relationship. After he had broken up with me 5 times already, and everytime I took him back. Then after talking to a girl he met a week earlier he said "I think I feel for you like a dog feels for its owner". The girl he met had said that to him.. and he listened. After that line I ended it with him. Do I still get to keep it?
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (8 February 2010):
The ring is basically a damage deposit, and proof that he is capable of providing the right kind of life for you.
Back in the day, you got engaged and your family started paying for the wedding.
If he breaks it off then the ring pays for any cash already paid out.
The way I see it now is pretty much the same.
If you broke it off, then he gets the ring back to drink away his sorrows. If he broke it off then you keep the ring, sell it to a DECENT jeweller who won't just melt it down and buy some gorgeous new shoes.
If it was a mutual thing then I think the NICE thing to do is to give it back since he paid for it. Post it back or pass it on via a mutual friend.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (8 February 2010):
 I'd just send it back to him with a brief note saying you came across it in your jewelry box and thought he might want it back. Don't give him any more information.
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A
female
reader, cassie m +, writes (8 February 2010):
sell it!! you split up and havent spoken for 5 years so would he even want it or the money? sell it and spend the money on something nice. he gave the ring to you so its yours.
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A
female
reader, junebug81409 +, writes (8 February 2010):
every couple is different. Some give back the rings and some keep them and throw them away like in a river or ocean....werid that someone would waste money but they do! I feel after 5 years with no contact you should be able to do whatever YOU feel is right and whatever would give you closure with this part of your life.yeah if you sell it you will get half the price.you said it was about 400 so thats 200 in your pocket!but if you wanna trade it thats sounds nice.but if u feel strongly about this and wanna do this the "right" way and wanna get this off your chest than meet up with him or call him dont just bang on his door...what if he lives with his new girlfriend?that might upset her.i wish you the best of luck.
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