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female
,
anonymous
writes: I know this problem may seem a bit silly, but it is worrying me, and I WILL have to make a decision one day. It has been playing on my mind more than usual as my father died recently, very suddenly, and at a young age, so I know how unpredictable life can be.From the age of 12 to 22 I wrote a series of diaries, some of which are very explicit, especially the age 14-17 ones when I was a young girl exploring my sexuality. I have them bound up in a suitcase in my loft, and I dont know what I should do with them. If anyone was to read them they would be appalled, however, the person in those diaries is simply not the person I am today. I should probably destroy them, but everytime I try to I think of all the time, tears, joy and emotion that went into writing them, and I just cant do it. But then the thought of loved ones reading them after I am gone(whether it be now,or in 40 years time) is not at all nice either. It would surely taint their, hopefully, good memories of me, and they are certainly not something that I would like passed down through the family! Does anyone have any ideas?Grateful Reply to this Question
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female
reader, layla +, writes (25 August 2006):
 i agree with them, you should publish them they are your memories whether you want to shair them memories or not it up to you. it would be great to publish them and it could be anomomous too. you could tell your family and ask for their opinion on what you decide. good luck xx
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (24 August 2006):
 A counter example, for contrast: my girlfriend was in a similar situation to you. She ended up destroying all her diaries that she wrote when she was younger, although she kept the more recent ones. She has told me that she doesn't regret doing it in the slightest, she is glad she did it. She said a similar thing to you, that she is "a completely different person now" and that destroying them was a constructive part of her moving on from her not so happy past.
In other words, getting rid of them may be a good thing for you to do.
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A
female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (24 August 2006):
 All your younger years are in them books, a lot of happy, sad and bad memories. I dont think that you should destroy them. I think you should get them published and remain anonymous. Dont feel worried that your family will be discraced as they love you for who you are now. Not your past. Everybody has a past! Seriously though get it published. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (24 August 2006):
 Yes harsh but fair has a point maybe get them published!! Sounds like they are better than Jackie Collins!! Or I guess you could get them put in a safety deposit box along with a message to warn of the content, and an explantion of it being you in your younger days and is what you experienced heartfelt when you were a younger person... Leaving them as a legacy might not be so bad if its written in a will about the box and the content of the journals and what went before them, and stress that its only for adult eyes etc... and well you can leave them to whomever you wish, and can request that they be destroyed unpon your death. Maybe could you donate them somewhere, make sure that there are no names on the front or anywhere to identify them to you, and have them donated to somewhere upon your death, where they could very possibly be very much enjoyed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006): It would be such a shame to destroy them, you never know what situation you will find yourself in the future where they might come in handy. Keep them!
I agree with harshbutfair, maybe they could be published.
As it so happens I just got some information this morning on the best way to get a book published so if you are interested send me a message and I'll forward it on for you!
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (24 August 2006):
 Great question.
You should get an agent and publish them. Quite seriously, you'd make a million. You could remain anonymous too.
If you don't want to do that, you could mention them in your "will". Just explain that they are personal diaries and that the will can only be executed if the diaries are returned to your solicitor (lawyer) and destroyed, as verified by both parties. Your solicitor should be able to help you out with something like this.
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