A
female
age
26-29,
*onnie B.
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 7 months. I am 17 and he is 18. Our relationship is very loving, supportive and intimate. We were both virgins when we met and after a month we decided to make love. We were both very nervous, the foreplay was entirely erotic, when he tried to put on the condom he lost his erection. We went to sleep, the next morning we tried again and the same problem occurred. He said he still wanted to finish so he jerked off, I ended up lying on my side facing away from him with him jerking off over my ass. When he was done I took a shower to clean myself off and cried. what was supposed to be a romantic moment had ended in me feeling like a piece of live pornography. Later that day he had no idea anything was wrong and I told him how the experience had made me feel and he cried and felt very bad about it.We decided to wait a few months and 5 months later we tried again with disastrous results. The second time was ok I felt close to him but there was no pleasure or arousal. When we have sex I don’t feel anything there is no physical pleasure and I just feel sad and frustrated. With every sexuall incounter I become less and less able to find him arousing. I am a highly sexual person (as is he)and enjoy masturbation . I’ve played with a dildo on my own and enjoy it but with him I feel nothing. I love him but sex is destroying our otherwise loving relationship.Thank you for reading.
View related questions:
both virgins, condom, dildo, erection, foreplay, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (9 February 2013):
 I would suggest you both stop masturbation and he stops looking at porn. After a time your level of sexual energy will get higher which hopefully will create sparks between you.
The other thing you can do is stop worrying about the intercourse and focus on your emotional connection. Cuddling, kissing, gentle conversation, massage, all things that can build intimacy and connection between you that can transfer over to 'sex'.
A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (9 February 2013):
This reminds me of the story about the cavalry recruit who told his troop sergeant he's never ridden a horse before. The sergeant helpfully supplied him with a horse who'd never been ridden so the two of them could learn together. Your mutual problem is a lack of experience and also that neither one of you understands or makes any allowance for the difference in male/female thought processes where sex and relationships are concerned. Physically and mentally it's like riding a bicycle or learning to rollerskate- it takes patience and practise until you start to get it right, and there will be a lot of accidents along the way. At your age (and how I hated grownups who said that to me but unfortunately some of the advice that followed was right whether I knew it at the time or not) you're taking your first steps into the adult community and as such are still at the beginning of learning about yourself and the world in general. Relax, keep trying (and always take responsibility yourself for contraception- he's not the one who can get pregnant) and learn what you can from this relationship but please keep in mind that this is probably not the guy for you because men and women mature at different rates. First love always gets re-evaluated in years to come when you have other experiences to compare it to.
...............................
A
female
reader, betty blue +, writes (9 February 2013):
It sounds like his inexperience is making him nervous .I suggest you buy a good book re karma suitra .
...............................
|
