A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've had a new girlfriend now for about 3 weeks, but lately, everything reminds me of my ex girlfriend. I even realized that my new girlfriend has some similar, if not exact features that my ex had. I will admit that I rebounded and quickly got into a relationship, because I was hurt and I needed comfort, but I do really like this new girl. The only thing is that I find myself getting down, and sad when I remember something with my ex. I know that my ex still loves me, and in a way it's comforting, but she probably wouldn't give me another chance, considering I had a new girlfriend within weeks of our break up after 4 years. I want my ex to know that I still have tremendous love (or strong feelings) for her, and I need some time to figure out what I want, but I don't want to get slapped in the face. What do I do?
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (8 May 2013):
You need to end it with your new girlfriend. Even if you and your ex don’t get back together, the fact that you are thinking of how to communicate your feelings to your ex, rather than thinking about how your new girl would feel about these feelings for the ex, shows that you are right: it was a rebound, you’re not right for each other and it’s fairer to you both if you break it off.
The only thing you can do is talk to your ex, if you want to get back together and find out if there’s a chance, you have to ask her. Explain that you would like her to know how you still feel, then tell her what you want. Then all you can do is wait for your answer from her.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (8 May 2013):
 You have to choose - your ex or the new girl. It is not fair on either of them at the moment, your new girl would be incredibly hurt if she found out you had told your ex that you still love her, and she would most likely dump you. Likewise with your ex, she will be hurting because you have moved on so quickly, so to tell her you still love her will give her false hope that you are getting back together and will confuse her because you have a girlfriend yet you claim to still love her.
You can only be with 1 girl at a time, and you can only have feelings for 1 girl at a time - it is not fair to either of them to have feelings for both at the same time. When you are with someone your heart should belong to 1 person, not 2 - and if it does you need to choose who you want to be with, and if your feelings are not strong enough for either person then you need some time alone to be single and figure things out.
Dont mess these girls about, it really is not fair. Decide who you want to be with and only talk to that 1 girl about your feelings, dont string them both along. If you cant decide, break up with the new girl and be single for a while until you do decide what you want.
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