A
female
age
36-40,
*carletLetter
writes:The guy I'm seeing has a girlfriend. I've met her, I know who she is and I remind him all the time that he has a girlfriend. I know some of you will judge me, knowing he has a girlfriend, but I've tried to stop, so has he, but apparently it's still happening... who knows why!He and I work together and started to get on the go about 7 months ago before he had this girlfriend. He then got a girlfriend and everything stopped. He made out with me about 3.5 months ago, told his girlfriend, and she said "Thank you for your honesty" and kept going out with him. We didn't hook up again until a month after that, where we hooked up several times over the course of a month. We kept fighting about the cheating because I wanted him to tell her about it because I felt horrible about it, and he'd keep saying it was the last time.... and it never was.Finally, I stopped seeing him and talking to him for a bit more than a month, when I get back, he had broken up with her. We start hooking up again, while he's single, so that's fine. Thennnnn he gets back with her, and he says we can't be friends for a while and he's never going to cheat on her with me again. ONE week later.... we are back in his bed fooling around, bringing us up to the present. To the point of this article. I don't know what to do. I severely want to tell his girlfriend that he's cheating on her, but on the other hand, I know if I tell her, he will never want to see or speak to me again. I've tried to not be involved with him, it hasn't worked. He isn't going to tell her, but apparently breaking up isn't out of the question. I can't stand the fighting that happens after we end up fooling around and apparently he cheats on his girlfriends a lot and never gets caught. I don't know if I'd want to date him, or if I just want his girlfriend to know or what I want. If anyone has any comments or suggestions or can help me figure anything out, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks you!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): What you are is a girl that is willing to do sexual favors for him when ever he wants, if he is without a relationship you will do in a pinch, and when he is in a relationship he feels entitled to have sex with you or anyone else should the opportunity arises because that is just who he is.You have already established yourself for exactly what you are, I could say worse, but you are nothing more than a booty call, and he hopes you will be ther when this girl realizes he's not worth it and dumps his ass. He will blow in your ear and give you a line to keep you having sex with him and he will start the whole cycle all over again.I don't care if you tell his girlfriend or not she probably deserves to know, but don't think for a second that he will then be
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): yes, nothing like pouring my guts out to help someone and then them turning on me like a rabid dog because they didnt want advice, they wanted justification.if you want advice then you need to go...listen to askoldersister, caringguy, and smile :) if you are seeking justification im afraid i cant help you out. mal
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A
female
reader, boo22  +, writes (11 January 2010):
 I don't understand your question poster.Can we help figure anything out?What are you hoping to hear from us?This guy is laughing up his sleeve at both you and his girlfriend. Unfortunately, you are too addicted to the drama to see that.She already knows he a cheat and stays with him anyway,so all telling her will achieve is more drama and you'll be back to square one.I hope the f@^!cking you're getting is worth the f@^!cking you're getting.
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love  +, writes (11 January 2010):
Oh oh oh!!!! I know why it keeps happening. Here pick me I know why it keeps happening. I think becuz the 2 people doing it don't stop doing it. If u want it to stop then stop it. There is no other way. U can tell his girl if u want but u are equally wrong. Stop this childs play at once.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 January 2010):
 EXACTLY q! To the poster: Are you looking for a specific answer or do you really want to hear the truth?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 January 2010):
I will tell you now that you are nothing more than second best to this guy, and you will never be anything else. So stop contact, delete his numbers, all contacts and forget about him, or you'll be second best for life.
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A
female
reader, smile :) +, writes (11 January 2010):
 Is losing him so bad? Its not like he can be trusted. My boyfriend cheated on me, and believe it or not I was actually happy that the girl had the guts to come forward and tell me she was the one he cheated on me with. I respected her for that. Think about your guys girlfriend, she probably believes he is being honest with her, is that fair for her? That all the time she feel happy with him he is lying so easily to her? I suggest you be the bigger person, tell her the truth and stop hanging out with this guy, he hardly seems worth it. It could get so much worse if it all carries on. And no body wants to be the 'mistress'.
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