A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What should I make of this conversation between my bf and his ex who I feel he still has feelings for. BOYFRIEND - god i fucken add u for 2 minutes and she went off at me fucken sick of it and i am pissed of at u for not showing up u doit to much its just selfish . EX/GIRLFRIEND - so you delete me!!!! how fuckin rude. Thought you were broken up. typical . BOYFRIEND - ah well if it keep her happy she my number is 0439089920 i dont c why i cant have u as a facebook friend she is jelious iof x girlfriends heywhen u going to catch up with me . EX/GIRLFRIEND - tell her to fuck off then! think you have your nuts in her handbag lol well be good to catch up soon i miss you . BOYFRIEND - well when u never show up yeah well she doesnt want me even thinkiing about u lol u owe me duinner for standing me up . EX/GIRLFRIEND - ok done!! yeah well dont blame her i suppose . BOYFRIEND - u make a date . BOYFRIEND - im in town everyday . EX/GIRLFRIEND - ok will do! better get me a new phone. god im hopeless Me and my bf broke up for a bit in the afternoon one day this week. He went out that night obviously wanting to catch up with her but she never showed. He called me very early next morning wanting to see me. I went bsck to his place next day we go on like npothing ever happened. What the fuck??? I just found out im 2 weeks late and pregnant.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (11 April 2011):
Hi. Sometimes, trying to find something suspicious (such as checking his mobile for text messages), is the worst thing you could possibly do, because it keeps you thinking along those lines and it can end up ruining the relationship altogether.
It can even start to take on a life of it's own, to the point where you almost can't think of anything else.
So just don't do that anymore - it's not worth the problems it causes.
My best advice to you is, to trust him completely unless he gives you any reason not to.
If he starts going out on his own a lot and being secretive about things, well then it would feel a bit suspicious, but really as that doesn't seem to be happening, I don't think you have too much of a problem.
Just take your mind off all those types of thoughts and stay calm.
Do you think that you are spending maybe too much time at his place? Even though it's close to the uni you go to, would it be that much of an inconvenience for you to live back with your own family?
Sometimes too much familiarity breeds contempt. You could both feel a bit crowded. Because you are always together, you have very little time apart. Even apart from going to uni, there's still a lot of time with you there all the time with him. Have you thought about moving back with your family?
It would probably improve your relationship with him even more. Plus it would give you some space from each other as well, and you wouldn't be inclined to check up on him.
Think about it anyway. It's worth some serious consideration I believe.
A
female
reader, virgin18  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 I still feel like he was really disrespectful, and whats that about not seeing the girl 'all the time'? He should not see her period, especially if its to talk so badly about you. I'm sorry honey but I think you are in for more suffering if you stay with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is 26 and got one year left of uni, I am 21 and just started uni. He lives in a big house with his mum and step father. I live with mum and dad along with my nana and younger sister. I do spend alot of time living with him as my uni is just up the road from theyre house. I spent all weekend and I didnt see anything suspicious. I never usually do... we stay in or go out for food, take out movies go snorkelling. He told me this afternoon that he does love me. Said that he isnt seeing Katie all the time and that i need to learn to trust him.
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A
female
reader, amazingk +, writes (10 April 2011):
 Leave Him.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (10 April 2011):
Hello again. I can't remember if you said this, but are you living together or living separately?
Because if you are living together, it might be wise to consider whether you want to put yourself through all this emotional upset, and especially the fact that you are now pregnant.
You now have two people to consider - you and your unborn baby.
Trust is a big issue in any relationship, and once it is lost it can be very difficult to gain it back again. It does seem like there are some trust issues there for you towards him. This won't help the relationship at all.
Eight months together is a while, and things would normally be pretty stable by that time. So maybe he's getting restless by the thought of impending fatherhood. He might be a bit scared of the eventual responsibility.
It also seems that he doesn't want to take responsibility for his own behaviour - which is rather immature - and instead, wants to place the blame on you.
So for now, don't bring up the subject again, as it seems to go nowhere.
Bide your time for now, but be thinking about you and your baby's future, should things get worse.
If you decide you don't want to stay, is it possible you could stay with family - parents, grandparents? Just somewhere else, so that you don't have to put up with his nonsense. Somewhere peaceful, with no stress.
As it's early days yet - only 2 weeks past your due period - and if you do decide to leave him, it's best to do the move while in the eary stages of pregnancy. For a start, you won't be nearly so tired and of course, carrying less baby weight.
You really have to consider yourself and your unborn baby now, even above your boyfriend. Your needs are much more important.
Don't let yourself be mistreated or taken for granted by anyone. You deserve better. Accept only the best from life, and nothing less. No exceptions.
Good luck and take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have been together for 8 months. We spend pretty much most of our time together. I have tried to bring it up this morning. All he does is accuse me of accusing him and tell me to stop it, and that he doesn't need this. I honestly wouldn't have a problem with him catching up with his ex, if he was actually honest about it. I even offered for him to invite her out for tea. He acted like it was the worse thing in the world. Yet here I am with it front of my face. It makes me feel like horrible...I want to have kids to someone I love... Im so confusedHe says its my fault (being pregnant) for not taking the pill properly. Which is true... i should have been more carefull and regular. We got along so well until something like this came up. And (he thinks) he is never in the wrong.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (10 April 2011):
Hi there. It seems like the breakup of your boyfriend's previous relationship was recent. Is that right?If so, perhaps he got into a new relationship too soon.Why is he in touch with his ex girlfriend?You probably need to sit down and talk with him about it, just to clarify things.
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A
female
reader, virgin18 +, writes (10 April 2011):
Oh honey just leave him, I'm sorry that is a bit harsh but this convo clearly shows he doesn't care much about you, no matter what he tells you. I would just break up with him and make sure he knows you're pregnant so he can have half of the responsibility share for your baby. But do not stay with him him just because you're gonna have a babe its not healthy for any of you. That is not the way to talk about someone you care about (I'm talking about him and how he was referring to you and how he was letting the other girl refer to you too), even if you were broken up for just a bit. End it for your sake and that of the baby, he doesn't deserve you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): Seems like you picked a player. I doubt he'll be faithful. Has he cheated on you before?
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A
male
reader, thomas1214  +, writes (10 April 2011):
..... these dots is all i can say to that other then this. you KNOW whats going on there. this is the typical you love he loves she has his nuts in her handbag routine.
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