A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is a co worker of mine. His GF works in the same company but different area. I know both of them, although I knew him long time ago. I´ve seen lately that he likes to talk to me and likes to hang around me and when he sees me he tried to get close to me. He even waited for me at the end of the day and walked me to the car just to chat a bit with me. When we have working meetings he tries to get close to me and stay near me. Another co worker said to me the other day he have asked if I´m hooked or something.We´ve have always been co workers, and we have never been that close before. When I ask about his GF he says he knows she´s the one he knows will probably marry since although he had thought of cheating he finds difficult to start over again with someone else.He told me today sometimes he wishes he would be single again since that way he would do as he pleases b/c she´s very jealous. The worst is that he say those things in front of other people who know them and makes me feel like he´s sharing too much info. I won´t say I don´t like him, but I don´t want to be seen as if I´m stealing him and start a mess. What should I do in order to know what he wants if indeed he wants something or just bluffing?
View related questions:
at work, co-worker, flirt, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): Work situations are always touchy, anon. And, yes, I would say he is "sharing" too much personal stuff with co-workers. I think you should be very careful. You could just get into a mess with this. I would not take anything he says too seriously. He may just be trying for "something on the side". Some guys do this. Don't consider a closer relationship with any guy who is still attached in any way. If there is break-up later, that is a different thing. But, you don't want to be known as the reason for the break-up. And these things can backfire. You could come out looking like the "hussy who broke them up". I have seen this before. Take care.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 You could lose your job over this if you become entangled in something so underhand. He obviously has no morals or sense of responsibility.
A man who openly flirts with you when his girlfriend works in the same place is a complete dog. There could be a million reasons why he's doing this. Could be just an ego boost for him, he could be trying to make his girlfriend jealous, maybe he is trying to find an excuse to dump her and using you as a 'stooge'. Ignore all that rubbish he tells you. If he thinks by telling you he's considering cheating, that it's making him more attractive, he must be a complete idiot.
What if you did become involved in an affair with him?? Do you think he would be discreet about it? I don't think so...and how much aggravation and embarrassment would it cause you to have a show down at work??.
Protect yourself, if he tells you things you don't want to hear, say to him 'thanks but I really am not interested and I don't want to hear it especially when I am at work' say it in front of other colleagues so there is no suspicion on you.
You don't need to know if he's bluffing or wanting something else, because HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND and HE'S A JERK. And the length of time you have known him makes no difference at all except to say...once a jerk...always a jerk.
I hope you see this for what it is
Aunty Em
...............................
A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 If he were your boyfriend and he spoke behind your back like this I'm sure you would be angry and upset, so if he did become your b/f you can be sure you would get the same treatment. He is not worth knowing and you need to talk to him to let him know you feel uncomfortable with his attentions. If this doesn't work it might be wise to 'somehow' let his girlfriend know about his behaviour that should work.
...............................
A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Uh. This guy definitely wants to start something. Technically he already has. he is flirting with you and giving you way too much information about his and her personal life. Which isn't really cool at all. His is disrespecting his relationship and his girlfriend, because I'm pretty sure that she doesn't know he has thought of cheating. And if she does know, then that's a perfect reason to be jealous! Anyway, this guy seems like he tries to do whatever he can get away with while not even caring what his co-workers see. People talk. This will get around, especially the part about you being the one that is returning his attention. The entire 'office whore' reputation sucks, so I would avoid it entirely by telling this guy to back off. It's easy to say really. At first I would try to be professional by saying "Maybe you shouldn't spend so much time talking to me. It kind of appears unprofessional, especially when the conversation is about personal information." Or when he is in your 'bubble', I would say "It's called personal space. I am not your girlfriend." You might have to even be more direct. Anyway, I know the attention can be flattering, but this isn't the type of attention you want. Especially from a co-worker at your workplace while his own GIRLFRIEND also works in the same company. Common sense.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Sweetie, this man is playing you. He wants his cake and he wants to eat it. He has admitted that he is going to probably marry the girl he is dating so basically all he wants from you is some exciting, in-the-closet sex at work, [which he will probably tell all his mates about too!].
Considering you all work at the same company and other colleagues have already noticed his attentiveness towards you, you are dealing with fire, and I am sure someone will tell the girlfriend. Are you ready for all the spitefullness that will come your way from your other colleagues. Because, guaranteed you will be shown up as the boyfriend-stealer!!
Send him on his way as he is not worth the pain.
Honeygirl
...............................
|
