A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So yeah, I'm a 13 year old girl, turning 14 next year. and i have a new boyfriend who is 17My mother knows about us and she told me not t do anything I don't want. One time he asked me if i wanted to have sex. I said no and he dint argue. He said we wouldent push me in something I'm not ready for.But my dad on the other hand.. doesnt like this AT ALL. he wont let me date him, kiss him, Hug him, not even hold hands!!(Still do it tough, we go to the same school) What should i do to make him understand Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sweetnsoursauce  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 Your dad, like all dads, is just being protective. He understands that usually when an older guy dates a younger woman, all he wants is sex. He will probably never be ok with you dating this guy, but don't try to sneak out with him because of that. It only gets you into trouble. I'm glad he didn't pressure you into having sex, but if it happens dump him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): Make the most of being your dad's little girl. He knows how men and boys think. That is what my dad used to say to me when i was your age. I didnt listen. Met a real brute and ended up marrying him, it took me a long time to get away. But in the meantime, my dad died when i was only 19. I had been married to this brute for 11 months by then. He knew that once my dad was gone, he could get away with anything. I am not saying that your bloke is the same, but please respect your dad and his wishes. You are still only very young. I too, dont like the idea of a lad of 17 wanting to be with a 13 year old by that is me.
take care and dont break your dad's heart, you only have one dad, so love him.
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): As a dad who once had a teenage daughter, I know what is probably going through your dad's mind right now. Believe it or not, your dad was aged 17 once, and he knows only too well what goes through the mind of a 17 year old boy whose hormones are raging through his body.
Like peoriaman says, you'll always be his little girl, no matter how old you are and he'll always be protective towards you. One day, probably some way off yet, he'll see you as a young adult as well as his little girl and he'll relax his attitude towards this boy, or any other boy who shows an interest in you. Your dad probably sees this boy replacing him as the man in your life, so you have to reassure your dad that you love him more than anything, and no boy will ever be better than him in your eyes.
The fact that your boyfriend has already asked you for sex demonstrates quite clearly that your dad has every reason to be concerned for your welfare. Your mother is obviously more relaxed about it, but I think if I was in her shoes I'd march you off to the doctor and get you on the contraceptive pill, just in case.
Your dad will be beside himself with anguish if you got yourself pregnant at such a young age, but we all know it does happen occasionally. Please don't give him any reason to be worried for you. His concerns are probably well-founded.
Ask your mum to talk to your dad about agreeing to let you see your boyfriend. She might just be able to win him over for the time being.
Best of luck!
Phil
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): Does anyone find it werid that a 17yr old guy dating an 13 year old girl? I don't blame your dad for not liking it, i don't like the sound of it morally and the fact he's already asked your for sex. When your 17 you will look back and realise how wrong your b/f was.
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A
female
reader, toughlove +, writes (14 October 2007):
If you want him to understand, you have to understand him first. That means you have to hear some things you don't want to hear and see yourself in a way you refuse to see yourself. This is your first challenge as a young adult, so it might seem right now like it is the biggest obstacle in life you or anyone else could ever overcome, but it is just the first.
Neither this 17 year old guy nor your dad owns you, you own yourself. Your dad definitely cares about you and is looking out for your benefit even if he is could be more diplomatic about it, so you would be wise to listen to him. This new boyfriend might care about you too, but his desire to have sex with you is not motivated by caring as you probably know.
Communication is key here. Talk to your dad and LISTEN to your dad. As a daughter of a dad who rarely listens, I wish you the best!
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