A
female
age
36-40,
*weet chilly
writes:I have been married for 6 years and I have the best husband in the world but I recently met someone ! We are very close friends but somehow I am attracted to him ! I feel like he is the perfect match for him ! He is married too but I know he is interested in me ! I know this is all wrong but what should I do to avoid making the biggest mistake of my life ??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Sweet chilly +, writes (21 January 2014):
Sweet chilly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the amazing suggestions ! I shall try my level best to stay away from this guy and will give my husband what he deserves - the best of everything ! Thanks again !
A
female
reader, mads.life +, writes (20 January 2014):
Simply don't go there. My ex-husband did he and his "soul" mate put their needs and wants above mine and her husband. She was a friend. They just had to act on it. Even after her husband took his family - her included. To live 5 hours away they still acted my husband went down to meet her. Took my romantic dream of what I wanted with him away from me by taking her to the tree houses in the hinterlands. He watched my heart break that day as he rode off to meet her. Then had the hide to come home to me and expect my arms to be open to him. I tried to make it work with him but the trust and ador ation I had for him were gone instead all I saw was a liar and a cheat and I resented him the longer I stayed. And myself. So no you do nothing you take your wonderful husband to bed and you worship him you through all that last you feel at him. Don't shatter him as I was. It's not fair. You already know how wrong it would be. Shut this man out of your life your husband deserves that. Good luck make the right choice. Please don't be the one to shatter his wife as she and my ex did to me. And her husband. It's not fair.
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (20 January 2014):
 If you know it's the biggest mistake of your life, then you know what you need to do!
Clearly you need to remove him from your life somehow. Eventually, over time, your feelings will subside and you'll be fine.
The true test of character is what you choose to do from here on out. It will show who you are as a person and your morals. Make the right choice.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 January 2014):
 If you have a large, old Oak, Elm or other durable tree in your yard... I suggest you go out and start banging your head upon it.....
Continue (banging your head), until you come to your senses....
That should do it...
Good luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2014): You disassociate and go 100% no contact. You are thinking with your vagina, your heart and feelings have less to do with it. Don't give us the soap opera drama-queen act.
You have an itch to scratch, and it's all about temptation and lust. You are above this.
All that perfect for each other stuff; is so it doesn't come across as sordid and seething with betrayal as it truly does. I'm not going to mince words with you.
He'll have sex with you, and go home like nothing ever happened. You will both be cheats, and look your respective spouses in the eyes, like everything is fine and dandy. While you both secretly did the nasty like you have nothing to lose, and their feelings don't matter. You'll be totally overcome with guilt.
Your unsuspecting husband will go on being a wonderful man; thinking he is being faithful to a loving and loyal wife. All the while, she is contemplating cheating on him; and destroying another marriage, like so many people so easily do these days.
If you know it's a mistake and it drove you to seek advice from DearCupid; you have all the opportunity in the world to make a conscious and conscientious choice not to be a cheat.
Go look in the mirror after you read this, and look at the reflection of the wife who hasn't cheated on her husband yet.
If you do make that mistake; I promise that reflection will not look the same. It will be the face of a unfaithful woman and a cheat. It's human to lust in your heart. You don't have to give in to the impulse, and go through with it.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (19 January 2014):
The feelings you're having are normal, and the timeframe is close enough that I feel comfortable referring to it as the infamous seven year itch. Just because you're married doesn't mean you'll never be attracted to others, and after several years a lot of marriages get a case of the doldrums. I know these feelings are new and exciting, and make you feel attractive and sexy. Now take your newfound sexiness into the bedroom with your husband and keep it there. It's even ok to fantasize about the other guy if it helps.But do not act on these feelings. Think about the innocent wife you'll be hurting. Think of how hurt your wonderful husband would be. These feelings will pass. I made the terrible mistake of sleeping with a married man years ago. After I met his wife, the guilt wouldn't go away. She was an awesome lady, and she loved him so much. And she found out. And after she found out, the worst part was that she didn't even get mad at me. No, we talked and she actually cried and cried on my shoulder. God, I was so consumed with guilt. What a horrible thing that was, to come between a man and his wife.Not my proudest moment. Please don't go there, just don't.
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A
male
reader, Geta +, writes (19 January 2014):
If you are referring to making a mistake by sleeping with that other man then you will make a regrettable mistake if, as a married woman, sleep with that married man.
Married men sleep with other women because those women are ready to sleep with them. For these men the only thing you have to offer is sex and he is not interested in your emotions although he will pay lotta lip service to that. In the end, he will screw you and go back to his wife.
On the other hand, your attraction to him suggest that you are missing done emotional aspect in your current marriage and wanna compensate it with another man. Women have affairs, almost exclusively either as emotional compensation method or to create an excuse to exit their current marriage.
Given these set of circumstances affairs are almost always set to a doom because man's aim in them is totally different than what female wants.
I suggest you stay away from that guy and look for ways to reach out your husband and fix your marriage because a sexual affair will not fix it but it will, eventually, ruin your marriage.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (19 January 2014):
It’s unclear from your post but I assume you refer to leaving your marriage for this man as the biggest mistake of your life? You’ve got to be honest with him. We don’t know how you can be so sure this other man is also attracted to you, but if you’re not looking to put your marriage at risk you’ve got to tell this man the truth about how you feel and explain that you need to keep your distance from him to focus on your happy marriage and suggest he concentrates on figuring out what he wants to do about his. I’m afraid you have to be strict with yourself in ensuring you maintain distance from this other man, and concentrate all your efforts on strengthening your marriage.
IT is human nature to be tempted, but when your attraction to some-one other than your spouse is this intense you’ve got to break away from one or the other. If you think leaving for this other man would be a big mistake, then you’ve made your choice.
I wish you all the very best.
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