A
female
age
36-40,
*shleigh babz
writes:I am a mom of 3 little girls and yesterday I found out I am pregnant again. When I became pregnant with my oldest daughter my boyfriend was delighted. She was a ray of sunshine. 4 years on and I became pregnant again but my boyfriend wasnt the dad. He was devastated obviously when he found out but he was there for me all the way. I gave birth to twins. I am scared in case the baby isn't his and what will happen. He has been a great daddy and a brick wall of support for me. I don't want to wreck it with another baby. Please can you help me? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): I won't be a broken record here but I agree with everyone else. Things are already pretty "wrecked" from the sound of it.
Your BF deserves to know the truth either way. He can find out now or later but IT WILL COME OUT eventually.
Birth control. Fidelity. Start reading about both of these things when you get a chance.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): Here's a good idea! STOP CHEATING ON YOUR BOYFRIEND!!
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A
male
reader, Dalmatian  +, writes (8 March 2009):
He desires better than you! Tell him that you continued
to be unfaithful and that he is probably not the father
of the unborn child. Do a DNA test to determine who the
actual father is so child support can be paid. Hopefully,
this man will dump you and find someone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): Why don't you stop sleeping with other people then? Maybe that way you'd be 100% sure who the father of your child is.
Put the poor guy out of his misery and end it with him if you can't be monogamous. Clearly you don't have any respect for him no matter how much of a "brick wall of support" he's been.
Hopefully he'll see sense and get rid of you when he finds out there's a chance that yet another one of your offspring isn't his.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): Babies are a delight in themselves. It doesnt matter if they are produced by drunken sex, one night stand, rape, infidelity or good righteous husband/wife sex. A baby is a baby all the same. I think your boyfriend would accept it. You hope for the best. But try to consider his feelings. In old days there was no technology to determine whose baby was whom. Raising someone else's baby is not as bad as people make it out to be. What about adopted kids? As long as you take up the duty of parents of a baby and love the baby the baby is yours. Good luck to both of you
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A
female
reader, buckeyefan27 +, writes (8 March 2009):
 Ok, several people have already hit on the many things that crossed my mind when I read your blog. Honestly, coming from a married woman with a child of my own, and a step-daughter, I think you need to focus on the big picture. You are in a relationship, with several children already, and one on the way that may not even be his. Since you are so young and obviously not ready to be in a committed relationship, you need to sit down and have a long discussion with your faithful partner. You never mentioned whether or not you're married to him, which gives me reason to believe that either one or both of you aren't even ready to make such a committment. No one is perfect. Married couples also face the fears of being cheated on, lied to, communication issues, etc. You aren't a bad person. Seriously, you aren't. But you have got to talk to him about your lifestyle and what has been going on with your sexual activities without him. No one likes to be blind-sided. This is going to be hard, but you chose this path and you need to face it now because your children will suffer in the long run if you don't.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): I agree. It is very hard to sympathize with you. You don't even act like you regret cheating, only regret the chance of being caught. If you love him so much, why do you cheat?
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A
female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (8 March 2009):
 Your pregnancy....soon to be baby isn't the case here, it's your unfaithful ways, your sexual need.
If you tend to be sexually active with different men, take extra precautions. There are a lot of viruses and diseases out there. Take the proper steps. Your kids need you to be there for them.
If you have doubts of your boyfriend being the father, then he have every right to know. It is not fair for him.
I agree with satindesire...you are such a young girl with a few kids. Are their fathers active in their lives?
Your boyfriend needs to know, so that way, he can decide whether or not to remain in the relationship with you. He deserves better.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (8 March 2009):
 Thank you Otherstarfish I forgot about Sexual transmitted Infections! Yes you need to get screened for them too!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): Stop shagging other people would be a start. Are you trying to hurt him? you have no respect for him, obviously.
If you have enough respect for him to be honest to him. talk to him. If you can't then you are a (put own word here) and you are effectively lieing to him that the child will be his. this is a great crime in my opinion given what he will give back. OF course if there is a chance its his then thats a different thing and you would need a blood test. If no chance then he is going to be good and maths.
You also might want to go get checked at an STD clinic, otherwise that would really be the icing on the cake for him.
Star.x.
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A
female
reader, triedit  +, writes (8 March 2009):
 If there is any chance whatsoever that this boyfriend isnt the father of yet another child, you need to tell him. And then he needs to end the relationship. What a horrible way to treat someone you're supposed to love. Sorry but that is the truth. You can't be trusted, you can't be loyal, and you keep secrets. You'll be lucky if you get out of this with custody of ANY of your babies.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (8 March 2009):
Wow how about a little thing called monogamy... that means staying with one partner! And how about practising safe sex! I really think your boyfriend deserves so much better than you, and he would be a much bigger man than me to stand by you if this child isn't his!
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