A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been patient for far too long now... I have been seeing my boyfriend for 2 and a half years now. We don't live together and he's an hours bus journey away. I'm 23 and he's 24 and we've never successfully had sex :( when we went on our first holiday together the first nite was the failed attempt and every nite after that he put it off claiming tiredness or having too much to drink. I suspected he had a problem but he wouldn't talk about it. It was only after 2 years he finally admitted he had a problem. He says he is able to masturbate but it's only in the moment is the problem. He says he's going to get help and see a doctor coz it's not worth losing me but that was 6 months ago and still nothing. I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do. I love him so much and know we can get through this but right now whenever I bring it up he gets upset that he can't please me. It's hurting me that he still hasn't done anything and he doesn't snuggle and foreplay is non existent. Any advice would be so very much appreciated. Sorry for such a long complaint!
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male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (9 March 2009):
You need to tell him you understand his anxiety over the situation BUT he needs to go to the doctor as there is likely an easy solution.He is probably worried to go to the doctor out of either embrassment, or because he is concerned they won't be able to resolve the problem.It sort of sounds like it could just be nerves. If he is nervous he won't be able to keep an erection it will make getting or keeping one a LOT harder. It could also be useful for him to speak to someone about it, who might be able to help him relax and not worry so much.Why don't you try other things? Maybe he would get more into it if you just touched or had oral sex? If he gets comfortable with that real sex might come more easily for him.
A
female
reader, Olivia(Y).  +, writes (8 March 2009):
 Explain to your boyfriend that you love him but this is getting you down. Say that you don't mind that he has a problem but he needs to get it sorted.
It sounds like hes scared to go to the doctor but believe me they have seen it all before and they arn't there to laugh at you, they are there to do their job and that is to help you. Explain that to him.
Good luck
Livia
x
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A
male
reader, FroggieGman  +, writes (8 March 2009):
You love him , and have shown it by your patience. He is not holding up his end of the bargain. Why hasn't he gone to the doctor?
Perhaps it's time to pass him by.
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (8 March 2009):
 You need to take him to the doctor, there are many reasons for erectile dysfunction, but most commonly it is due to something psychological, also once he has seen a doctor he may get prescribed Viagra. Don't go off and buy this stuff off the internet or dodgy copies you get in Ann Summers etc. Make sure it is prescribed, because is can have complications hence why it is a prescription only medicine (in the UK)
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