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female
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*illybean2k5
writes: I'm still a virgin, but the guy I'm currently in a relationship with isn't. I questioned him about his sexuality and he admitted to me that he had sex once or twice a month when he was in a long relationship, our relationship has just begun and I'm wondering what I should do if he wants to have sex with me. I want to have sex with him, but there's problems, I'm too young, my mother would kill me if she even THOUGHT I was having sex and I'm nervous and afraid. What's the first time like and how should I handle that situation should it arise?
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female
reader, XxFitKittenxX +, writes (22 November 2005):
im 14 nearly 15. i aint a virgin and dats wot i thought my mum wud do. bt she only flipped when i told her id been lying to her. i had sex and didnt tell her. she said she wud have rathered i had told her before i did IT. now shes got used to the idea that im growing up she duznt mind. she isnt happy about it but theres nothing she can do about it. its your body and your life you decide. just make sure your 1st time is with someone worth it or you mite regret it and think, IF ONLY I WAITED FOR THE RIGHT GUY TO COME ALONG. just make sure u are very close to him and dont feel pressured into anything. if you feel your readythen you should do IT but if you dont feel ready, wait.
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female
reader, distressed +, writes (19 November 2005):
Don't have sex with him. If you are doubting it don't do it. He should respect your decision not to. Believe me if I only took my own advice I would be in a much better situation. Guys are a dime a dozen and NO guy is worth it if they don't respect you enough to wait. Love or not. He obviously doesn't love you if he wants you to do something you are not ready for.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005): first off, if you dont want to have sex, then dont, that is something you were born with and its pure. once its gone you can never get it back. think about if you really want your first to be with this person. talk with him, if he is pressuring you then in my opinion i wouldnt. but if you tell him your not ready them maybe he might be worth it. take it slow dont ruxsh into anything. and if hes way older than you and if your under 18, i think i might want to wait. let it be with someone you know you have a possible future with. someone who will be respectful and understand your feelings regardless if you have sex with him or not.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2005): Personaly, from my experiance... If your mom shouldn't know about it, you shouldn't be doing it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2005): wait untill you are completley sure you want to do it! wait as long as it takes! if you rush it, ull ruin what you could have! if he cares he will understand! if you really want to tho, tell him to be gentle, and relax. maybe you should try having a chat with your mum, be grown up, listen to what she sais and dont argue! be carfull, you might get hurt here! xxx
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female
reader, Topps +, writes (25 October 2005):
You will always remeber your first time. Is this the boy you want to make this memory with? and is now the right time? My first time (and second) was very painful, i bled. I guess not everyone has the same experience. My bf and I were in love, he was gentle and stopped when I asked. You dont say how young you are and I guess the law is not really a factor for young teens in love, so please consider all the factors in the previous responses and then wait a little longer. When the time is right you will know! and will not be posting on this site to check if the time is right!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): please dont do it!not yet! if youre not ready to do it dont its your body take care of it,if ur under the age limits to have sex its illegal an if he is old enough to its his faulf as well as it might be yours, and listen to you mother shes wise you know,and if your boy friend cares and loves you that much, he will wait until you are ready if he goes off with other girls hes not worth it and youll know youve done the right thing its a hard desision to make but dont be pushed into anything you dont truly feel like you want to do!
good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Please, never allow yourself to ever be pressured into sexual intercourse, if you are not ready. Don't have sex until you really want it. If your boyfriend loves you he will wait until you're ready and will understand that you are hesitant. This is one of the your biggest decisions and there is a lot to consider (unplanned pregnancies, birth control, sexually transmitted diseases) But to begin with, the fact that you are questioning yourself about this means you are not quite ready. Remember, someday when you are ready, it should be someone you can trust, talk to and care about.
But this is a difficult situation but you'll just have to be open, honest and open the lines of communication with your bf and let him know how you feel. Remind yourself that the guy doesn't have to "have it" and he can wait if you can. You can explain to him that you're not ready to get sexually involved yet, or that you've made up your mind to wait. Remind yourself of the responsibility to yourself and your body. Keep respecting yourself and know that the right person will wait until you are ready.
As for the physical aspects of having sex the first time, it can be uncomfortable the first time but not necessarily. It's different for everybody. Some females find it more comfortable if she and her partner don't start penetration until you are very wet or use extra KY jelly/ water based lubrication. Sometimes, if it is too painful then the female should ask her partner to stop. He is able to stop at any time and should do if you ask him to. One's partner should be gentle and slow if a female is nervous. But whatever you decide, consider being strong and only venturing into this when you are emotionally ready-you'll never regret this decision, in the future...Take care, dear
Hugs,
Irish
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reader, Angel-lee +, writes (25 October 2005):
If you love your boyfriend and you are sure that he loves you and that he isnt just with you for sex then take the step with him. You have to think about things beforehand though like how old you both are? how long you have been together? and of course if you are sure that this is the guy that you want to lose your virginity to? if you are sure about all these things then take that step. Your mum wont find out and its your life. If you feel that you are ready then there is nothing stopping you. If you are not ready then im sure if your boyfriend cares about you enough, he will wait until you are ready.
Sex is nothing to be frightened of if you are sharing it with someone you love and someone who loves you the same in return, im sure he will be very gentle and caring because he knows that its your first time, it doesnt hurt just take it slow
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