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female
,
anonymous
writes: I met a man just two weeks ago (at work). He is amazing. He has been dating someone for the past two years though. I don't want to come between him and his girlfriend but I want to let my feelings be known. Is this something I should keep to myself? He shows me signs that he is interested in me but I have no idea if he is happy in his relationship. Any advice would be very much appreciated.Thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, laurette +, writes (27 September 2005):
Tread carefully here, the last thing you want is to get together with a man who cheats on his partner to be with you because you will never be secure in this relationship. keep your feeling to yourself for the time being and just be friends. A great relationship comes from a great friendship. Be friends with this man until he is available, treat this situation as if you were in his girlfriends shoes, you most definatley wouldn't want another women making any moves on your man, should this man make any moves on you ,make it clear how you feel about cheating men and he will respect you for that, if he doesn't then he's not worth it.
If this man is meant for you it will happen but don't make it at the cost of someone else hurt.
good luck
laurette
A
female
reader, Happygoddess +, writes (26 September 2005):
Yes you should keep your feelings toward a man who is attached to himself. Regardless of whether he is showing you "signs" is not the issue. Be a strong woman of character and remember, if you ended up with this guy for some reason, how could you ever trust him when he is attached to you?? Good luck.
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A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 September 2005):
 If you sincerely don't want to come between this man and his girlfriend, then don't! Letting him know how you feel will be encouraging him and therefore coming between him and his girlfriend!
Perhaps he isn't happy in his relationship but that is his and his girlfriend's concern not yours. Let him be. If he really isn't happy then perhaps his relationship won't last. Only then should you reveal how you feel after you have given him time.
I would suggest you try to find someone who isn't attached as this will only lead to heartache if you do tell him your emotions.
Think how it would be in his girlfriend's shoes. How would you feel if a woman approached your boyfriend and revealed her feelings of interest and attraction to him in which to encourage him to be with her? Imagine your emotions. Anger, hurt, upset? This is how she could feel.
Wait and see what happens. Don't flirt with him, just be friendly but in the meantime, consider looking around at other men who aren't in a relationship or marriage. There are some out there!
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