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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi there, I am getting the sense that my ex-girlfriend's current relationship is coming to an end. I alwyas felt that it would as the guy was the complete opposite of me, had little in common with her, and was of a different religion and she's from an Italian-Catholic background.My question is, what should I do if I want to have the best chance of her coming back to me? Should I talk to her periodically and just keep things fun and light? Or should I make myself unavailable and not make much of an effort. Or should I do something else. There is no man who will treat her as well as me or love her as much, I just wish I didn't screw things up so much initially...
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): It may take some time and a great deal of effort, but I would try to periodically stay in contact with her and be a good listener when she talks to you, don't judge her or give advice, just reflect back to her what she is saying to you so she knows you heard her. Don't try to talk her into dating you or being with you again, or tell her how you feel about that too soon. Wait for her to show a real interest and friendship with you.
I think you should always understay your welcome, if you are talking on the phone, end the conversation first a little bit before she might expect you to so that she wonders if she could really have you back.
Date other girls and let her know you are, and just be friendly to her, but don't let her disrespect you ...maybe in time she will come around.
If there was anything you need to change that was the reason you broke up the first time, be sure and do that and make her aware that you have changed.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, jack23 +, writes (30 October 2006):
 Think about it. How did you get her in the first place?? There must have been something you done to make her interested in you and make her want to give things ago.
If you can just mimic what you done the first time round, and emphasise things that attract her, then chances are you can win her back in much the smae way as you did before.
Good luck :)
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A
male
reader, badbrit  +, writes (30 October 2006):
Firstly I want to tell you that i feel your pain here buddy, it is hard.
There is not a lot you can do to win her back, either she wants to or she doesnt. It depends what is in her heart for you. There may be something in her heart with your name on it but not enough to be with you again at the moment. I know others will not say this but i shall. If there is something there, you need to look the best you can and be the most attractive you can be to give the highest chance of it growing inside her.
If there is nothing there in her for you, nothing you can do about it
Let me tell you one thing that may sound harsh but i am sorry it is the truth and you would do well to remember this no matter what you do
You said, "There is no man who will treat her as well as me or love her as much"
She does not care less about that, people do not care at all how YOU feel about them it is all about how THEY feel about you.
I tell you this as it is too tempting to show them how much they mean to you in the hope that that will mean something. It doesnt. Sure it is nice that you feel that way but it wont change her heart.
Think about what she once loved about you, your good points, work on them, show that and show strength and the things that are attractive in a man and see what happens
Do not flog a dead horse though - if she not interested then get over it, move on and find someone who you do not need to work hard to make love you.
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