A
female
age
30-35,
*aybaybay_x
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years in January. We have been having a lot of problems since last year started and it become a bit hard to handle. I feel like we're growing apart and that he's becoming more and more comfortable in the relationship. On Friday my 18th birthday party got cancelled and I was in a real state on Saturday on the phone to him and he said if I cry, my mum will see me as weak which was not what I wanted hear at that moment (my mum was rubbing it and kept trying to break me down about it) I said I wanted to be alone and ended the call. He called me twice and left it at that. I waited for him to call me on Saturday and then I called him and ask him why he's so insensitive as this isn't the first time he hadn't been there for me and had left me to 'get over it'. He started getting angry and told me he had a "F***ING headache" and if he says sorry I wont believe him anyway. I said how many times do you have to say sorry this year? I'm tired of your sorries, he wonders why I don't believe them because he keeps repeating his offences. I feel like I'm not his girlfriend any more. He doesn't take me to parties with him, he hides things from me a lot as well. So, usually, I'm the one that calls him as I'm the one who actually buys credit to call him. And I didn't call him on that Saturday or Sunday night. I found out he was at a party on Saturday which he told me he was taking his little brothers to. But I saw pictures and it was pretty wild. and I didn't see any sight of his little bros with him. He came to my house yesterday, tapped on my window and I just started talking about things, asking him would he have come if I had called him (as he never comes to my house unless I ask or he has to) "I also said to him, I'm doing all the talking, I'm sure there was a reason you came here?" and he just walked away and left. He called me this morning and said "Call me" and usually call him straight away because "that's my job" but as it happened I have no credit. So I told him and he said "You have no credit?" I said nope. and he laughed nervously and then cut off the phone without saying anything. So my question is what now? My cousin says he's got an ego and wants me to chase him, as he's use to me doing it. But my friend said he'll get fed up and he feels like he's gone out of his way already. But how when he had a chance to talk when he came over, but then just upped and left. So what now?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): END IT! You are both coming from different sides of the fence here - not surprising, you are both still very young to be in this for life. Just growing pains of life I sense, and growing apart as you call it - I call it natural progression into adult hood where one starts to form their own personalities.
This relationship, it's just too full of " he said, I said, He didn't do this, and so on" it will never work like that. May be it's time for you to move on - take some time out by being really single and finding out more about you, instead of spending all your time trying make someone FIT what you want.
Must say I could see what 'Jmtmj' was saying about the calls..
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Kaybaybay_x +, writes (23 November 2010):
Kaybaybay_x is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe didn't apologize and he called me twice in a row (I saw it when I came back to my phone)
He called me twice then left it and then when I called him he got angry at me saying he had a headache and if he said sorry for not being there I would believe it. But my argument is, why does he do this, and then say sorry. he knows it's wrong, so why not be there? It seems he knows where his priorities lie.
The reason he didn't bother to call me is because he was out partying.
I didn't tell him I wanted to be alone, the call ended. I just wanted to be alone so I didn't pick up with phone.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 "I said I wanted to be alone and ended the call. He called me twice and left it at that. I waited for him to call me on Saturday and then I called him and ask him why he's so insensitive as this isn't the first time he hadn't been there for me and had left me to 'get over it'"
So he called you twice and you didn't pick up, then you got mad at him for leaving you to "get over it"? Did I read that right? And somehow you've managed to turn him apologizing to you into a bad thing... He sounds frustrated and I can kinda understand if he is.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 Just end this relationship, perhaps not indefinitely, but for the foreseeable future, I think it best to end this. He sounds slightly immature if you ask me and your cousin may be right otherwise, why else would he refrain from saying anything in an attempt to salvage this relationship? If he chooses to ignore you and practically abandon you emotionally, you have a right to just leave him.
I hope that helps.
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