A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What I would like to know is what makes people think they have the right to cheat on their partners and think they can get away with it...i mean where the hell do they get off!!!!My boyfriend of 8 years cheated on me and gave me an STD the dirty, rotten, lying, scum bag! All the while im working my butt off to pay off all our loans (house, car etc)while he goes and rides his motorbikes and the neighbourhod slut!!!Well when I found out he had cheated and I had an STD I kickd him out...threw his belongings on the road...they got ran over by a truck which was very very very satisfying!!! I have also had the locks changed on the house that I have paid for (which I can prove he has not contributed a cent towards) he is going to end up with NOTHING! You do not cheat on me and get forgiven!This leads me to my next question.....why do people who are getting cheated on constantly put up with it??? Im on here a lot and all I read is ...oh he or she cheated but maybe they will change, im gunna stay because I love them blah blah blah.What is wrong with people....will I ever be able to find a guy that keeps it in his pants when he is outside the house? Im starting to think NOT!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cdognon +, writes (4 July 2009):
i think i have respect for you....
are you dealing with this well?
i just got cheated on but im such a mess that i dont know how to deal with it, you seem so admirable being able to throw him out with all his belongings your a strong person. I just dont seem to have as much courage
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): I have to concur.
If you cannot find a decent guy, then you simply are not looking hard enough or are not looking in the right places or approaching things in the right way.
Some people, man or woman, are just mean-spirited and selfish. Just as an equal amount are generous and kind.
Don't give up because one guy has torn your heart to shreds. He didn't dissolve the pieces. You just have to put them back together and start over with someone else and keep on doing that until you hit the right person.
Or you could turn lesbian. A lot of women are doing that these days.
Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): "I think that guys will fuck around as long as they can get free pussy." Wrong.
"I think that one thing that will keep them tame..." What?
Anyway to answer your questions, some people are just scum, that care only for their own immediate needs, it's as simple as that.
There are a lot of reasons people put up with cheating, kids, shared finances, love, insecurity, self blame etc.
Will you ever be able to find a guy that keeps it in his pants, possibly, we're everywhere around you so it shouldn't be too hard. I can understand your anger I've been cheated on, but I knew from the start of the whole mess that the worst thing that could have resulted from it for me would to lose my faith in women. It is important to remember that one bad apple won't ruin the rest unless you let it, don't let it.
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A
male
reader, Your friend +, writes (2 July 2009):
 Getting the STD is the physical reality of the affair which also has a lot of shame and humiliation associated with it, its physically and emotionally confronting with a disgusting aspect to it so when you put all this pain together it made it easier for you to throw him out. Not all affairs have this horrible edge of reality and so are more able to be recovered.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): I'm sorry this happened to you but please don't take it out on the whole gender.
Statistics vary, but a lot of them show that women cheat nearly as much as men do. Research also tends to indicate that there are millions of men & women out there who simply do not ever cheat.
I know lots of people who have dated many others without ever getting cheated upon. If you're always getting cheated upon then it has something to do with how you select your partners, that's all there is to it. (And letting the guys choose to make the first move on you is a form of selection too.)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): I think that guys will fuck around as long as they can get free pussy. Maybe in the begining you'll have a few months of fidelity but after that good luck. I think that one thing that will keep them tame is making them feel special all the time and screwing their brains out on a daily basis like you did in the beginning. You and I both know that can get b o r i n g which is exactly what he senses. Men do not like bitchy whining complaining women who won't give them sex. Now, if he gave you good reason to bitch, whine and complain, honey, your better off without him. Don't you agree? Think about that.
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A
male
reader, joe26  +, writes (2 July 2009):
 i hate being in those situations..sorry feel bad for you! i would say only one thing is "move on" definately theres someone who can give you all the respect, love and care everything that you want.
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